


Consequence of Power

by adoiiru



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complicated Relationships, F/F, Filipina Catra, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scorptrapta, catradora, there's nsfw the 2nd chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17187932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoiiru/pseuds/adoiiru
Summary: Adora faces new issues regarding her secret identity as She-Ra. Her elongated relationships return to haunt her.How long can she keep it up before everything in her life starts falling apart?





	1. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora seeks therapy to cope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my first fic + au!

The sun set in the west, overlooking a cliff of where a restless warrior stood. The warrior, in the middle of training, was to be the rising savior of the land known as Etheria. The golden light reflected from her bright blonde hair and golden bronze tiara as she panted underneath her breath. Her appearance symbolized her condition. Her legs scraped, and parts of her body bruised, yet she could heal easily to regain her fierce strength. That being said, to control it was no easy feat. Her cerulean-eyes glared at the blue graphic hologram that referred to herself as Light Hope. The mentor, stoic and cold, was an intimidating being with vast knowledge of the past users of She-Ra.  
  
She-Ra dug her heels into the dirt in order to maintain her balance against the dreadful winds. She peered at the woman who remains unfazed by their current environment conditions. Adora locked eyes upon the holographic being yet neither did she place an expression upon her face. It is absolutely intimidating and mysterious to the blonde girl.  
  
"Blood. It lays under everyone’s skin to survive, Adora. Once it leaks out of skin, emotions pour out for everyone to see after covering it for so long. How can you hold it in all in at once?" Light Hope asked, her teachings were odd to her pupil.  
  
She-Ra hesitated to answer a question she could barely muster in her thoughts, it's difficult to respond to a situation regarding to her physical injuries. It was only day twenty of her rigorous training process to become the all mighty warrior for all. Adora yelled at the top of her lungs as she lunged at the hologram as her lengthened hands gripped onto the helm of her own blade. _  
                         _

* * *

   
The room brightened from the semi-lit up lamp that rests upon the office's desk. A human figure peeks at the corner of Adora's eyes, yet she is barely visible to the blonde girl, only to wear her long white coat and formal attire. She isn't Adora’s prioritized person of interest, Adora's thoughts are only to drown out her sense of reality. Her own escapism is her dreadful memories of another restless night.  
  
“ _Adora_.” The eerily familiar voice addresses the young woman.  
  
Doctor Hope stares down at the distraught athlete who has been settling down in the office seat for the half hour that has passed. Her therapist is the one who contacted her days ago, suspiciously after one of her intensified training days occurred. Her office seemed bland with only plaques, yet there is no images of a family picture whatsoever. The woman seemed to be in her mid-thirties, with her cold dark-blue eyes and buzzed haircut that reeks familiarity to Light Hope, it is hard to tell for the blonde. Her vision is disorienting, so she glares down to her hands as she nervously fidgets with her pale thumbs before she squeezes her finger as her blood flows from one shade of red to a dark purple. She lets it go, heaving a sigh from the feeling and the core aftermath of subtle minor events that happened the day before her appointment with this woman.  
  
“It _wasn’t_ meant to turn out like this!” Adora felt her tone raise defensively. 

The blonde seems to have no one to go to in her restless need. She is a superhero, a warrior, and someone who maintains her identity anonymously as possible. It didn’t mean no one caught on to her other than Bow and Glimmer, since they were the ones who went out with her the ungrateful night she found the pen that could easily manifest into a defensive sword.  
  
Adora could only think to herself in times of need, she grips the chair as the guilt rips her stomach to shreds. Her thoughts cloud her judgement: Catra... I’m so sorry. I keep sneaking out all of the time to fight for victims. This one girl reminds me of you, and I can’t kill her. I can't have you involved with the Horde.  
  
Before her darkest thoughts could devour her hope, her therapist interrupted those thoughts once again. Adora's head and shoulders flinches as she regains her sanity for the current moment. Doctor Hope thrives for the information, she knows more than anyone could comprehend as she is such an eternal being. She is Light Hope, a manipulator and one of disguise. She isn’t alive nor a therapist, it's her alias to demand for She-Ra to take control, even if it meant keeping Adora broken in her sight.  
  
The She-Ra line was broken in Adora’s last life of Mara. The very moment Hordak officially mastered control of the stolen runestone he would use for war, he immediately disrupted a generation with chaos. A corrupt monster, a brute capable of causing lasting damage against a ethereal weapon forged by the First Ones themselves.   
  
“Catra. She left me... Well, I mean, I left her? I keep lying to her about my entire life.” Adora confesses.  
  
"May I ask, young Adora, what atrocities did you commit?" Doctor Hope asks while keeping her blank facial expression intact.  
  
She remembers Catra’s screams for her: Stop lying to me! You remember how it went, you pushed me away! Where did you go?

Adora only swallows the guilt building into her throat. She bites her tongue, gnawing into it out of frustration. She couldn’t forget what she did, or to even forgive herself.

"I... became someone I didn't ask to be." Adora confesses.  
  
It was the only vague yet honest response Adora can return to the woman. Her consultant looked at her, which caused Adora to tremble slightly in dismay. She is fairly new with everything, and experimentation may someday be her downfall. The intimidating stare reminds Adora of her difficult night with Catra.  
  
Adora's mind replays how it went, she could even taste the lingering iron and burning feeling of salt against her skin. How the battle the night before nearly broke her physically in a sense where it became unbearable and traumatic for the young woman to think of. How the blood trickled from her nose and mouth, and how her injuries never heal as fast when She-Ra is formed.  
 

* * *

  
It was the night before.  
  
Sneaking out became such a routinely habit late at night or in the day. As a local freshman in college, your normal priorities are burdened by constant stress such as testing, work, yet that is never the case for the young warrior anymore. Adora thought Bow’s and Glimmer’s reaction when that pen she clicked morphed into a shining sword. It felt too surreal, as if they were in a bad fantasy film.  
  
Glimmer seemed too disapproving at first. She knew of Adora's past, and she knew too much of how Adora is raised from the Horde. But she knew her best friend all too well, so she instead smiled at her with such a supportive laugh when Adora dropped the blade into the white pavement.  
  
In her head, Bow's voice echoed excitedly: That pen you found at that park, it’s now a weapon who summoned you, Adora! Now we fight bad guys! That’s so cool!  
  
“Bow, if it were only that simple.” She mumbled to herself.

Instead, the athlete found herself suddenly turning eight feet-tall, buff with a sword, and stopping the Horde from yet another illegal weapons trade. She conquers another battle against feline Force Captain, only to return home sore, bloodied, and bruised. The walk was shorter as She-Ra, but when she changed back to Adora, her body felt weaker with her injury intact.  
  
On best of days, it was only bruising or soreness. However, it's Christmas eve. She left a blood trail down the snow with her enlarged footprints. She was now a beaten Adora inside of her shared apartment. The living room was quiet, it remained dark, only for an ominous cricket to fill the silent air. Adora slammed the door shut behind her, another simple night of coming home from defeating a plan from that cat-girl _Force Captain_. The jock refused to lay a finger on the feline even if _Force Captain_ left various injuries on She-Ra. Her actions and responses only did remind Adora of her long-love, however; the athlete only longed to heal.  
  
Did Catra make it home from work?–Ouch, still sore... ugh, where's the First-Aid kit when you need one?  
  
“Hey, Adora.” Catra spoke.

Adora jumped, not even turning around to face her dear friend, she couldn’t risk her best friend looking at her injuries, the thought of it only made the warrior wince. She knew when to be careful with Catra about her childhood trauma. She didn’t want to risk any sort of worry from her, let alone reminding her what Weaver has done to Catra when only Adora did something out of line as children.

The athlete pries her nails into her palms, not even considering caution at that point. She has the option of being honest and letting it go, but the reaction that Light Hope could hurt Adora worse than above all else. She tries to lay low, and to be subtle.

“...Hey.” Adora muttered underneath her breath, she only tasted iron as her mouth moved with her tongue. _  
_

“What the _fuck_ , Adora. Where were you tonight? We always spend Christmas eve together. Why do you keep sneaking out everyday? It’s been two weeks. It’s not hard to miss! _Ohhh_ , wait, you have ' _other best friends'_ to be with, right?” Catra scoffed furiously.  
  
Catra's unnecessary jealousy peeked out without her even admitting to it, her paranoia coursed throughout her entire body. Her need to interrogate Adora remained at its highest, yet she always found her ways to be condescending. It settled in Adora the wrong way, mostly upon how Catra spoke to her as if they were married or something. Adora wants to ignore her when she inched closer to her. 

Adora glances to the clock ticking in the living room. She squints at it through disoriented vision, the time only shows midnight for her. She inhales through her iron-scented nose as she then glances to her feet trembling on the floor.

“I was ...at... work?” Adora responded with obvious uncertainty.

Adora didn’t turn around, her body and thoughts limited her courage to. She’s weak whenever it came to Catra. Her chest tensed, and she knew if she left it would only cause matters to go worse. Her blood dripped from her nose and onto the wooden floor where Adora stood.

“Work? Wrong _,_ Adora. Scorpia called me asking where you, Sparkles, and Bow were. She needed help closing the store, Lonnie and Rogelio filled in for you three! Where...were _you?_ Adora, you need to stop lying to me.” Catra scoffed as she retaliated harshly.

Adora's cerulean eyes adjusted to the right to see if she can see Catra visibly, and yet she couldn't at all. Worry and anxiety pressed harder into her head and her injuries to prompt this worrisome situation at it's worst. The jock only moved her hand to press it against her nose as the pain became agonizing for her.

The blonde girl couldn’t handle the constant guilt of lying to her best friend. It wasn’t the first-time, no, they have known each other since she was five years old and Catra was three years old at the time. Catra was dropped off by some low-income minority family that could barely afford to make it by, and Adora was dropped by some woman named ‘Mara’ who kept making her mistakes. When Mara caved into her mistakes, Adora made new ones in her place.

Adora nearly turns around, she couldn’t handle the guilty pressure any longer. It drove her insane hearing Catra this way, how heartbroken she's become since Adora lied to her the very first day she received the unwanted sword that carries immense power. It was like she's been given consequence than protecting. She began to hear whimpers behind her.

“You fucking _l_ _iar!_  Remember when you left me at that orphanage last year? I was so scared that you left us... you _left me_. I lied about being okay when we texted! Adora, I ignored my fucking feelings for everyone–” Catra’s voice cracked, she snapped at the thought of it.  
  
The shorter of the two began to squeeze her own palms to feel her own black arrow-head nails withdrawal blood from her morena skin. Catra physically growled at her when her tears dropped onto the flooring. Her teeth bared against one another when her vision didn't unlock from the jock. Rage filled her heart.

Adora couldn't handle the tension any longer. The jock finally turns to face the filipina that cried out for her as if she was homesick kitten. The blood drizzled out of her mouth and nose, along with the cut dragged on the side of her head. Her eyes widened as she watched Catra’s tears leave her, it made her heart sink below the ground. She made one step to her.

Without hesitation, Catra’s childhood trauma from the Fright Zone Orphanage clouded her thoughts. She remembered the abuse, the neglect, and the torment. She remembered how the blood dripped from her button-nose to her sharp-canine teeth. When she had three large self-made scars that day against both of her upper arms that resembled stripes of a tiger. How Weaver, who was supposed to be one of the many “caregivers” abandoned her, and how the only girl there was Adora.  
  
Adora’s intrusive thoughts could only go so far against her actions taken the last week. With the recent torment happening to her, she tries her best to ignore what she can. As her thoughts race by, it strips away what is left of her sanity.  
  
"I didn't mean to." Adora mumbled to herself.  
  
Catra's expressions fell in anger and despair, to fearful. Adora held her hand almost as if she knew immediately. Instead of pulling the blonde's hand off, Adora led her to their shared bedroom. The room was dark with only a restroom light that remained on visibly for the pair to see.  
  
The feline remained quiet, to spike the blonde’s anxiety. She knew she deserved that, only to be sitting in a tub where the morena girl placed gentle hands to sew the part of her forehead that bled and to wrap bandages around her arm wound. Adora winced at nearly every direction. They were both quiet. The warrior limped to their shared-bed, where she laid there quietly. She began to watch Catra get change into new clothing. Her removing her maroon cat-ear beanie, her black crop-top, and shorts. Adora admired Catra, gazing at her in awe as the girl went into the part of the bed where she laid there.

Silence became the symbolism of skin.

Adora held onto the girl that wept silently, only to comb her fingers through her dark bangs and long curly hair. She left a kiss against her visible freckles, and gazed into her blue and yellow eyes. She admired this girl since the first time they have met. Even when Adora had gotten adopted by Angella last year, right before she turned eighteen, this was the girl she still texted everyday. She wine-tasted with, someone who have shared their darkest secrets together. Adora loved her to no end, there was no ending or beginning for the intense feeling she has.

“Catra, I'm sorry. I didn’t want you to worry...I was at–”

Catra was stubborn, she didn’t want to look pathetic. She had no weakness. None. It was a pinch to her, but her metaphorical stab wound is still bleeding. She couldn’t bare with it, but to let her own tears stab her eyes as it burned. She’s been through too much to consider anything as a minor sting. What happens to her, she takes personally. What happens to her, she wants to rip apart with her nails that are considered as her claws. She was a force to be reckoned with.

“ _Save it_. It’s whatever.” Catra glared at her, she almost growls. She could feel her slightly grown canines bare itself.

“Do you want me to go–”

“ _No.”_ Catra begged.  
  
She was tired, she is tired.

Adora only responded with another kiss to her freckled face and shoulder. Catra couldn’t help but feel her own involuntary purr uproar from herself. It was new, possibly another trait she adapted from that mask she received from Hordak.

She didn’t have the heart to tell Adora, not yet. Catra closed her eyes gently as they fell asleep peacefully. At least, so they thought. Through that terrible night, neither of them could get the rest they seek out for.  
               

* * *

  
Adora looks at her therapist and wept softly, she knew she couldn’t tell Doctor Hope the truth, her truth. Even if Hope already knew the entirety of everything without Adora's acknowledgement of it. Her therapist blinks as she glances at the clock on the wall in her office. Hope soon realizes their unrealistic yet disturbing therapy session is near an ending point.

“So, Adora, How did you leave her?” Hope asks, only to test Adora's loyalty to her.

“I…I don’t know, Doctor Hope, I have _way_ too many priorities right now.” Adora responds, it was only half of the truth. Risking her identity to a stranger who looked familiar to her mentor? Risk everything to just bleed again? It's just thoughts that are unfathomable to the warrior-in-training.

“It is time to _let go._ Adora, you are a student with a scholarship, and a promising soccer player. If you do not let them both go, you will cave into your faulty reasoning, and you will cause blood.”

_It is time to let go._

The thought of it only haunts the poor girl, intrusive imagery of her fights begin to poke at her subconsciousness. Adora tries to ignore it as she simply nods in response to Hope revealing the time to her. She privately clutches her pen in her red varsity jacket pocket when she then reaches for her phone to text her roommate to pick her up and to go home from such a disturbing appointment. She didn’t press the tip out of fear of unleashing the blade, so she settles to pressing her thumb in the middle and to feel her skin against the pen, the sword of She-Ra. A bigger priority than anything else.  
  
_You will cause blood._  
  
Minutes felt like hours to Adora, and her mind refused to stop racing at incomprehensible speeds that not even She-Ra could withstand. Adora stares longingly at the lockscreen of her and Catra on her phone, she then stares towards the ground with that constant thought eating her alive. A car honk came from outside of the office, and the blonde girl got up immediately and went out side to meet the vehicle that carries the love of her life inside.  
  
Catra awaited in the car for Adora to get inside, she sat in the front seat. The vehicle was the same, it has the same holes, and the same rips. It had the same particular bag that carried Catra’s odd metal hat. A helmet? It didn't matter. There is the same Catra, the same short-girl who smelled like lavender. Catra with her freaky nails, or her wild cat-like pupils, her blue-yellow heterochromia, her curly dark brown hair, her crazy eyeliner, her maroon cat-ear beanie, her ripped black jeans, her maroon crop-top, and her goddess-like smile.

“Catra...” She mumbles, rehearsing on how she had to tell her best-friend, her crush that she is the legendary warrior or superhero She-Ra, that they had heard in stories from the elderly witch worshiping lady who live across the old orphanage. How the _fuck_ can she reveal that?

“Yeah, Adora?” Catra swallows her anxiety down. Her posture remained cautiously still to keep herself from freaking out, there is too many options to consider, let alone to scream out the truth about her actual association with the Horde.   
  
“Last night.” Adora mutters.

Adora's chest became tight when her heart races faster at each given thought about what to say to the poor feline-like girl. Everything she needs to let Catra know, became lies that escapes her lips. She couldn’t let her Catra go _,_ not ever. The blonde is only naive, a young fool in love with her childhood best friend.

The young warrior rehearsed her deepest thoughts through her head: My therapist, who might be my holographic guide, is telling me to let you go-I know it’s messed up because it’s Christmas! My best friends, who are also secretly fighting by my side, when I fight the Horde. I haven’t slept for nearly a week, my healing factor barely kicks in as Adora and the crazy lady we met as kids is probably right, I’m She-Ra, the golden amazon warrior.

None of her tremendous thoughts could be conveyed into proper words as it left Adora into a jumbled mess. She knew one thing to say, both of their feelings is a bigger war than the Horde versus the Rebellion put together. Their love will lead to blood, but it is the blood that courses through their veins.

She decides to blurt out what she wants, than instead of taking her feelings to the grave. “I realize that... Catra, I’m in love you.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra has conflicting feelings she can't describe. She's impulsive but is making some gravely mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is nsfw! catra has risen and this is messy

When Catra was young, her mother had spoken to her in a language she could barely remember at such a young age, let alone long for her mother’s voice to return to her. Her entire life has been in a grave after Weaver destroyed everything in her hands. Weaver ripped away her compassion, her culture, and her happiness, to transform into a brainwashed, and brutal child soldier. To become close to Adora in nearly two-decades, it’s another story to unravel. Her tiger heart claws at her brain, and she instinctively gathers from this situation. 

Catra‘s nervous to her mind and heart battling at war, she blinks to push her resentment and lingering anxiety away.Adora is clearly nervous, she is frozen stiff when she gazes upon the feline’s wild eyes. It only enraptures the young savior even more than it should.  
  
Catra doesn’t speak, and yet she traces her nail-like-claw lightly against Adora’s locked jaw, which travels to her cheekbone as she cups it in her petite hand. Her breath is shaky when she leans closer to the athlete, and her heart races at each passing second. Adora is delicate, her soul is light as a feather. A storm: Catra’s mind is the core of aggressive thoughts. The huntress didn’t speak, she succumbs to her raging heart. She leans in now, and there is silence and anxiety.  
  
There remains her ignited lust for her, and there is only unforgiving fears of abandonment. Her pupils widen in the embrace of her cold skin. Catra is used by everyone, let alone by  _Adora_.  
  
She blinks once, and then blinks twice. She traces her hand against Adora’s collarbone, her body is the one of a warrior, but Adora is just a princess of this world. Catra’s nose presses upon Adora’s nose-tip, there are no words now. They are nearly lip-to-lip, yet her slit of pupils begin to widen in sudden awe, and the feline could feel her breath merge with the others. Catra’s heightened ability to catch scents is new to her, but why couldn’t she track Adora’s anxiety? Maybe, she‘s used to the scent of home.   
  
Their lips begin contact as if they have never touched before. Adora is all too surprised at their sudden actions, or at how Catra feels for her. She is angry, she’s happy, or she’s ashamed of herself.  
  
Where was Adora before? Catra needed her last year. Who protected her then? Catra hates her so much, so so much.  
  
Catra wraps a hand behind the girl's ponytail, then she pulls Adora in for a kiss. Their lips are sparks for Catra, to ignite the flame as Adora's the match in her frail hands. She kisses the other girl harder, then she is full of frustration. No, she is  _petrified_. As both of their breaths begin to quicken, her breaths become out of place, likewise her heart.

She senses exhaustion, relief, or she is borderline. Adora is oh-so-easy to manipulate for the villain.  
  
Adora pulls her in, and she is setting the kiss deeper by lapping her tongue upon sandpaper. Catra exerts her body onto the toned girl, which only bewilders the huntress as her victim parts her mouth slightly. Their tongues intertwine, and they twirl against each other, meanwhile the blonde girl pants heavily from her nose and out her mouth. The dark haired girl keeps gasping through her mouth, she wants to beg, and she wants to wail out her name at the blissful image of riding her anguish away in Adora's hands. This excites the huntress further than it should.

She is starving, and she is hunting for her prize. Catra needed touch, she needs _her_ touch.  
  
Catra leans in out of desperation for her to rock her body against Adora’s toned figure. Her insanity climbs back to those pestering questions: Do you remember how Adora left you? Do you remember how she hurt you? Do you remember a time when she got in trouble? Why?

Adora grunts a noise in their heating moment as she slowly moves her hand lower, to where Catra hasn’t asked to be touched _yet_. Catra begins to move her hand to where Adora’s hand is placed, and she sharply gasps for air. She feels like she is trapped in a hot box with no other contact than her own, a feeling she desires to let go.  
  
She craves for more intimacy.  
  
“ _Please._ ” Catra whimpers under her parted lips. She's soaking in between her legs, and she begins to mewl to the pressure on her clit. She tries to choke down her noises, but she isn’t the one to cave into weakness anymore. It is  _too soon,_ but she desperately needs more from her alone. This is the girl with everything in her world, but she has suddenly changed recently. Adora isn’t the jock that Catra wanted to kiss nor fuck, she's now someone she can spend her life with. The newly found confidence worries the huntress, but she didn’t care right now, Catra  _craves_ her badly.  
  
Adora is hers... _right_?  
  
They temporarily break the elongated kiss, which leaves Catra audibly purring. Adora stops any more sexual contact, only to leave Catra protesting against her actions. Touching her is a deserved reward, someone so close to her must work to earn that spot. The both of them slowly catch their breath, only for the feline to gaze at her in a passionate way. She doesn’t want to break their overdue intimacy, and she doesn’t want a replacement. Adora is a burning type of red, and Catra feels her cheeks turn warm, yet she ignores it. It is only a spur of the moment to her.  
  
“Does that mean we’re...” Adora asks as she then trails off when she gazes into her different colored eyes, she is enamored by lust.  
  
Catra could only think of what to say. No, the feline is full of denial and acceptance, she could list down every rightful reason carried in her pocket on how she could hate Adora. At the very same time, she doesn’t let it get in the way.  
  
“Duh! Why else would I even start that?” She answers with such sarcasm, only for Adora to smile as an answer. Her blush gets warmer, but she brushes it off so she could drive off to their apartment complex. Driving is only a temporary distraction as her thoughts start to ponder off into their intimate moment, she nearly had sex with someone who she is always insecure around, her _best_ _friend_.   
  
It isn't normal to feel this way.  
      

* * *

      
There is only silence, she is bitter at her since she left last year, yet Catra needs her still.  
  
Sunlight peeks through the curtains of a small bedroom, and some of it reflects onto the mirror, it catches both of Catra's different colored eyes. Neither of them have been called in for their so called “jobs.” If anyone considers illegally working at a corporation, a “job”, or if she considers her "best friend" as someone who mysteriously sneaks off so late into the night. Catra, in the past, has heard Adora leave from their bed, but to leave the feline in despair of being cheated on. They tell each other everything, even when it had to be playground secrets.  
  
Before Catra can get up from the shared bed, Adora tugs on her arm. This convinces the feline to lay back next to her as the warrior lays back to cup her cheek, she then goes in for that kiss they both yearn for. She moves her body into Adora almost instinctively. Catra smiles happily in the kiss, and she feels her returning starvation take control. Adora breaks away when the huntress eyeballs her as she starts to undress from her jacket and white t-shirt. Catra studies her prey, and her pupils widen in awe once again at the result of Adora to wear nothing but her bra and underwear. The blonde’s face is a deep shade of red, and the huntress leans her hands against Adora’s toned figure.  
  
Catra feels touch starved, and she is the physical embodiment of it. It only takes two hands, two mouths, and only one gasp. The huntress grinds her hips into the warrior's hand, only to erase her resentment away. _Fuck,_  she needs this. Her fangs sink into Adora’s shoulder, only for the blonde to whimper in response. Catra groans while moving positions under Adora, for her to thrust her pain away. The only words she could murmur under her breath is a few tagalog swears, and only a name. Adora’s name. There is panting, grunting, and whimpers spilling out of Catra’s mouth. This blonde-jock is going to kill her someday, or it‘s vice-versa. Through the pleasure, the vigilante looks down and notices the two large claw marks down Adora’s back, it‘s familiar to the ones Force Captain left on She-Ra. Flashbacks of the blood oozing out of She-Ra starts to leave Catra in horror. Adora doesn’t seem to notice the other girl.  
  
Adora interrupts Catra’s inner monologue by moving herself lower on the bed to shove her fingers inside deeper, and to toy with Catra’s clit with the flick of her tongue. On her back, it stimulates the feline too much. She spirals with the mess in between her legs, and she clenches against the touch. Catra is covered in scratch marks, and her hair is tugged gently as the fingers was replaced with her tongue. Catra bites down on her lower-lip as she holds Adora’s head in response. The feline is soaking, and she moves her hips at Adora’s skillful tongue. She draws out her claw-like nails onto her shoulders, and bares them into the pale skin. She releases a hot breath or two, followed by an aching gasp of wanting to release.  
  
Catra snarls at the heavenly feeling. She can feel the pressure build up in her lower abdomen, but she had fantasized this happening in the past. Before she could even continue making noises, she is interrupted by the flashing image of She-Ra’s back. It‘s too much to handle, Catra tries to push that at the back of her mind when Adora moves her tongue deeper.  
  
_“_ _Fuck!_ _There!”_ Catra pleads out loud, hopefully for her neighbors to hear.  
  
The feline doesn’t stop grinding feverishly when it came to Adora. She longs for the feeling of sweet release, to rid of her sorrows and to make room for Adora. Catra‘s lower-half tenses up as she gets overstimulated by Adora, she then grits her teeth, and she grinds harder when she feels slick leaking out of her entrance. Her body is at the peak of her orgasm.  
  
_“_ Adora _,_ Adora _, Adora...”_ Catra moans her name out, she is a broken record that is shattering in this girl’s tongue. The huntress’ toes curled as she lets out a strained moan to the rough feeling of her orgasm. Her hips jerk up to Adora's lips, and she’s sweating profusely. “Fuck..” Catra pants out.

Eventually, they both stop the moment after Adora swallows what she could, and Catra moves to lay in her arms when her body relaxes on the mattress. Adora gives her a reassuring smile, and a gentle kiss on her forehead. Catra knew they she have to leave tonight for her fake jobs, the thought of it broke the girl again. Her attention is brought back to Adora, when she feels her  her arms wrap around the huntress. Catra purrs, she's in devotedly in love with this girl to no end.

In every war-zone, on different sides, she loves her the same. May that be her downfall. Adora leaves one kiss, and then another. Adora pulls the blanket on top of them, for the both of them to slumber peacefully as they both knew what is yet to come hours ahead. “I love you.” Catra whispers in hopes of Adora to not listen. She believes expressing her vulnerability is pathetic. Her insecurities remains high as her misguided anger for this girl calms down.   
  
“I love you too, Catra.” She replies back, her eyes become half-lidded from exhaustion. Catra murmurs, not wanting to speak out loud as she covers her face in the crook of Adora’s neck.

“Mahal kita, Adora. Before you ask, it means I love you.” She chortles.  
  
"You’re such a dork, May-hail-kita." Adora chuckles at her, and the mispronunciation leaves Catra cringing. Catra scoffs then rolls her eyes, and she smiles slightly at her attempt. She closes her eyes as she falls asleep in the embrace of cradled arms.   
       

* * *

     
When nightfall catches up to them, Adora is still out cold with Catra in the bed. It feels like for maybe a moment, she would live a normal life with someone she cares about. She ignores her explosive thoughts, and considers who's arms she‘s laying in.

She listens to Adora's soothing breathing. To her, the world disappeared in their domain. Neither of them have to worry about suffering, controlling, or being alone. They have each other, and that is the best part to Catra. Their bond is built on a promise, but the reality of her lying never stopped.

Only hours passed for the loving couple, Catra slowly gets up after keeping her eyes closed from the rejuvenating day with Adora. She sighs as she has business to settle with the Horde tonight. As she rises to her feet, the huntress reaches for the mask she placed away hours ago. She makes her way to the wall of the window as she is soon to escape from. She opens the window and immediately shivers to the cold night air, she places on her mask that physically transformed her. Her eyes were fully colored, her black feline tail and ears appear, and she is in a red uniform. Reality settles in as the huntress jumps down from the apartment, and she then leaves with a humanoid scorpion awaiting outside of a dark van. She gets inside quickly, and she slams the door shut.  
      

* * *

     
An hour later, Adora quickly awakens up to a hurried flash of light from her pen. She unfortunately pieced together Light Hope call for her need in action. It‘s different this time, it‘s an urgent emergency. Not even a second after getting up, she grabs her phone to text Glimmer and Bow through her adrenaline spike of the emergency call. The pen shines brighter, and she checks the amber alert of the street address of where a supposed black van is speeding upon. However, there was someone missing from her bedroom.  
  
“Where's Catra?” Adora murmured. Adora blinks in confusion, yet she quickly blocked out the thought of her. She-Ra has another mission. She grabs for that pen which laid on the desk near the bed, she clicks the top of it, then she grips the pen once it glowed into the all-mighty sword of She-Ra. Adora shouts her usual chant:  
  
“For the honor of Grayskull!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please give criticism if u have any! i luv u


	3. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's mistakes catch up to her. Would she reveal herself first?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its violent and kinda gore-y sorry

The sky was dark, and the clouds covered the view of what would be a relaxing night for any couple who simply wanted time together. The windows of the vehicle Catra traveled in were slightly cracked, which allowed her to view of the visible clouds through the night-sky. Suddenly, a rising storm stirs, and Catra's stiffened fur stands towards the direction of the sky. She sniffs the air, and her foresight allowed her to tell by the air pressure that it would rain. Moments too-soon, drops of water trickled from the sky. She watched the rain drop upon the dirty streets, and it only compelled her to think. Facing the reality of her situation, she knew that she had to lie her way through everything, and everyone. If she convinced herself that her self-worth was portrayed through spite, then she wouldn't need to lie to herself more than necessary. This only further proved that Catra is a complicated person, with complicated feelings.

The soldiers knew the drive would be long, so Catra leans back as Rogelio drives the group to their destination. Rogelio stares at them both through the mirror, without a single word. They are all test subjects made from rejected children in a growing orphanage. This orphanage had a twist however, where “weird” people in lab coats would visit every so often. Not everyone was fortunate enough to be adopted, and not every orphan had Adora's luck. A man wearing a business suit with a tacky haircut visited the orphans often, and Catra remembered him shake hands with Weaver. After his visitations became more frequent, he came with the new addition of odd gifts. However, so did the harsh abuse Weaver forced on Catra specifically. She isn't an Adora, she wasn't as fortunate like she was. Her first ever gift, from someone other than Adora, was a cat-mask. As she gets older, she notices that everyone else is rewarded with objects to force them into becoming monsters. Freaks, as they were commonly referred to, handled like a curse entitling them to not be loved by anyone. This was the practicality behind why they were rejected unlike golden, perfect children. Being raised in such a facility, these kids are brainwashed to be criminals without protest.

Scorpia blinks, trying to remain seated. She keeps watching the cars drive by with parents and children seated inside, and normal families walking pets. She smiles as she notices an average peaceful community. It left her sad, and longing for such care. These people were full of love, and to her, she knew she could never be like them. She'll never be a daughter of a loving family, and that left her dreading for that privilege. The muscular girl swallows down the feeling, there were more important things to take account of. She needed to break the silence between her and Catra.

“Sooo…Wildcat! Have you told Adora about the mission?” Scorpia smiles down at her feline companion while she nudges her with a scorpion pincer. Their conversation is broken when Entrapta starts to laugh, but only at a video she was invested in, which was most likely on the topic of machinery. Then, noticing the question addressed, Catra’s eyes widen in surprise, she has thought of telling Adora everyday. However, she doesn't want to put the blonde girl in danger over her selfish goals, and that's exactly why she has kept her out of it. She is scared of Adora being potentially hunted down, or even worse, Hordak giving the order to track them down personally and Weaver to execute it, treating them like fish. As if she was in a trance, she shook her head and suddenly noticed in the car mirror, Rogelio gave her a cold stare.

“And have her trying to stop me from being _Force_ _Captain?_ Yeah, thanks, but I’ll pass. I'm fine without Adora. Hordak saw potential in me, better than Weaver _ever_ did.” Her feline eyes rolled as her arms crossed, and her tail flicked in annoyance. Scorpia's expression changes to express the guilt for even asking, even though she only wanted to break the sorrowful silence between the both of them.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Wildcat! I bet she’ll support you through it, from what you tell me, she probably would love you no matter what!” Scorpia laughed, her smile seems so bright when she gets really supportive, or sometimes she would blush. That made Catra smirk a little, it would make her wonder if she told them about her and Adora. Yet, she needed to stray away from those thoughts at the moment.

Entrapta stares at the talking duo, only interested to bring her knack for technology within the conversation. "You _did_ _not_ even need to convince me to join! Regardless of your inquiries, my hypothesis is the machinery called for me, the technology in the Horde needs advancements!" She blurted out.

As the techie rambles on, Catra finds herself tuned into her own thoughts. She notices herself dissociate, as if it's like television static burned through her limbs and sanity, her breathing felt weird to her, is that her body anymore? The huntress sat impatiently as Scorpia and Entrapta spoke to one another, it sounded like physical gibberish. She zoned out herself, not too seemingly interested on Scorpia’s attempts to talk about Catra with the other girl, or how machinery works on her weird theories, Catra never seemed to understand. She stares at the seat in front of her, and she begins to play out scenarios in her head on how she could tell Adora. Her chest tensed up within each situation has ended with the same reaction of rejection. It ended with invalidation, the thought of it stung the poor girl. She can hear Adora’s monologue of denial in her head.

Adora was just a noise in her thoughts: Catra! Are you crazy? I’ll–  
  
Bam.

As the vehicle continues driving into downtown, a loud thud slams onto the roof of the vehicle. Not a second later, Catra’s ears perked up to the blade that stabbed into the hood. It glowed neon blue while it shredded a large square on the roof. Her first instinct is to growl, then to strike against her. She rips off the seatbelt, where Rogelio skids off the road. He parks the van to call for backup while Scorpia got out to protect Catra upon instinct. Catra sees the shining gold hair into view.

She-Ra.

Adrenaline courses through her veins, and her flight or fight response is in check. Her eyes glowed in the dark as her slits of pupils tightens, she quickly moves out of Scorpia’s way, and she lunges upward to strike. No one will get in her way, Catra’s claws scratch against She-Ra’s bronze gauntlets, before the warrior is blocked quickly by the metal on her arm. Through aggression, her jaw clenches as she growls at the savior of Etheria. An explosion appears into the corner of her view, her ear twitches when she glances at the direction of some pink sparkly girl, and an archer shoot at their direction. Catra attempts to go after the duo, until She-Ra is clear as day, picking her up by her collar. She’s frozen in place as a particular piece of jewelry She-Ra wears, catches her off-guard. Her stomach drops, yet she doesn't know what to think.

Catra's muscles begins to tense up as her chest tightens. Her mind is racing quickly, and she processes too much at once, again. She-Ra is saying speaking to her, but she cannot comprehend it, as noise in general is bloody screams to her. In disturbed rage, the feline only glares at the woman. “Where did you get this?” Catra murmurs underneath her breath. Nothing else can catch her attention right now, but the tremendous fears of Adora being hurt.

“What?” She-Ra blinks in utter confusion.  
  
No, she will not get away with playing dumb with the huntress.

“I said, where did you get this fucking necklace?” Catra interrogates through paranoia, she assumes the worst happened to Adora, through She-Ra's hands.

She-Ra didn’t have the time to respond as she's distracted on trying to make an excuse. Catra strikes with force, there is absolutely no remorse. Five claws on one hand, and her entire face-to-shoulder was ripped skin and oozing out dark blood. She-Ra yelped out in loud pain, then Catra suddenly steals the necklace, and she jumps onto She-Ra’s shoulders as she digs her sharpened toenails there. She-Ra flinched, it felt like the tip of blades were ripping into her skin and muscles. She tries pulling Catra off of her, to where she slams the lean muscular body into the pavement. The warrior’s on top of her now, her weight feels as if a large bulldozer forced itself on her. Her fist is raised as her free hand locks Catra into place. She-Ra is bleeding through the five-claws of ripped skin as her blood drips onto Catra’s forehead. She doesn’t move at all, she’s paralyzed in fear. She-Ra's skin didn't repair easily, Catra’s adrenaline is at its highest where her heart sunk.

Catra feels disgusted with herself as she watches the fresh blood drip out of her ripped skin, and she immediately holds in bile from the sight of blood rolling out of the largely opened wound inflicted on the warrior. The huntress starts to feel her back being scraped, cut, and severely bruised, from the impact of cement breaking into her skin. It was too painful having the pavement rub into her skin aggressively, She-Ra hasn’t laid a single punch on her, and she has done critical damage to the feline. She can barely think as the rush of blood, and tearing of skin, keeps her disgusted with herself.

“Give methat necklace back!” She-Ra demands. It's like the warrior is breaking down, or on the very verge to. With the sudden display of weakness, Catra picks the opportunity of toying with her.

“ _Why_ should I do that?" Catra forces a laugh as her throat chokes down her pain. "Hey, princess! I'm having so much fun, now, _where_ did you get it from?” Her tone is tauntingly cynical, while her expression is a smug look. Catra spits at her, and she hisses aggressively while she tries to wiggle out of her strong grasp. At that point, Catra tries to break her. She-Ra pushes her hand harder into the pavement, to attempt to keep her in place, which only causes Catra to howl at the pain. She groans sorely at the excruciating pain stabbing into her upper-back. She-Ra ignores her regrets, this supposed hero is stoic to her enemy. Adora knows she doesn't have the right to fall in-line to another of Catra’s mind games. Ignoring Catra's humiliating taunts only leaves the vigilante in a pool of rage.

There is lightning flashes, and rain being pushed by the forceful winds. In the background of their current situation, the pink-haired girl and her archer seem to have gotten away while they still could. Catra feels the pressure in her anxious chest, clash with the pain of her physical injuries. She-Ra has the golden opportunity to go with her heroic team, but she doesn't. She refuses to, she has unfinished business to settle. She-Ra guesses that Force Captain doesn't carry any sort of healing factor, which now Adora takes advantage of. She curls her hand into a fist, and she strikes with excessive force. She-Ra is on auto-pilot as Adora loses control of the amazon, where is the pilot?

Once She-Ra's fist moves, every painful memory of abuse begins to flash in Catra's head. This isn't how she wanted to die, at all.  
_  
“No!”_ Catra screams out. 

Thunder roars with roll lightning strikes, She-Ra slams her fist into the block of cement next to Catra’s head, only inches from her skull. Her knuckles becomes bruised as her bones shiver to the cold rain. She-Ra’s emotionless eyes stares at the Force Captain, if only Catra could know what happened. She gets up from the wounded feline, as the only injury aside from bruising, and scrapes, is a mental one for Catra to remember the amazon's ripping flesh. She grabs for her sword as she gets to her feet, she then slides the tip of the blade against the enemy's arm, where she hisses out in agony. Catra’s jaw locks at the sight of her blood escaping her bruised arm, with the second of a glow, She-Ra disappears, and the sword-pen falls to her side. Catra's hair raises at the sight of Adora, now facing her as the rain soaks the both of them. Adora quickly closes her eyes as she lands on the hurt Catra. Adora is out-cold, and bleeding out aggressively.

Her adrenaline rush flees away, but her shock invited itself in. Catra lays under her, as her body is full of glass shards, and she begins to hear the flat-line ring loudly in her head. The noise blocks out the people who watched the scene unfold, and the sheer terror of the thunder. Catra tears up in frustration, in confusion, and worry. She was unwilling to move when Adora's unconscious body tumbled onto her. Adora's face is still bleeding, and her skin hasn't stitch itself back together like She-Ra would. This was the girl who comforted her through the worst times of her life, this was the girl who risked her own safety every night to make sure Catra was okay. But, Catra is the villain in her narrative. Her chest squeezes at how she watches Adora's blood fall onto Catra's face and neck. They both gave each other harsh blows, without thinking of who they really were. As time unfolds, Entrapta and Scorpia finally catches up to the wounded women ahead of them. Rogelio was nowhere to be found, and Entrapta didn’t mutter a word as Scorpia spoke. There is only shock, and the void, clustering Catra's sanity.

“Catra!" Scorpia calls out to her in fear as she shakes at the thought of Catra being in immense pain. "Are you alright? Do you need medical attention?" Scorpia places her pincer up to assist Catra as her support. "Rogelio is reporting to Hordak. He’s not too happy–Wait, is that... _Adora?_ ” She asks, Scorpia didn’t seem to care about Hordak’s feelings as much, although, Scorpia isn't Catra’s priority right now.

The rain pours down heavily, her hair gets drenched, and the rain mixes with her tears, and blood. She laughs hysterically at how the situation unfolded, and then it turns into denial. Too much has happened, she's been traumatized to no avail, but this moment turns into her breaking point.

Her laugh now trails off into silent sobs.

The huntress moved to try and support an unconscious Adora awake. She didn't pay attention to an amazed Entrapta, or a concerned Scorpia, the blood flashes vividly in her mind again, only watching She-Ra in pain. It was only Adora. The blonde girl groaned in her unconscious slumber, her blood dripped onto the street of rain puddles where Catra had stood upon moments ago. She dragged her body for Scorpia to try and carry. She didn't mutter a word.

“...No, I’m not okay. My enemy shares my bed. I nearly killed my girlfriend.” She shakes hysterically.

Catra doesn't act, yet, she dares to speak. She's broken at the mere image of hurting Adora the way that she did. Her mind's pushing her, and the killer images of how she hurt Adora in this form, pains her to the very core. She removes her mask, tossing it against the wall as it nearly breaks in the collision of bricks. She holds onto Adora’s head, and she studies her open injuries on her face. Five bloody marks traveling from her eyebrow, down to her neck, and right shoulder blade. She's disgusted at the thought of doing this to Adora, she lets out the bile held inside of her when she faces away from Adora. All of the tension, watching her blood smear on the glass, her skin, and her hands. The blood is on her hands now, and she clenches her fists _fast_.

“Adora, why didn’t you tell me?” Catra hollers out as she chokes back her tears, she wants to scream out the tension in her lungs, and to rip her chest apart. Catra deserves it, every part of this dreadful experience. She grabs for her tossed cat-helmet, and she stares down at the necklace in her other hand. It used to be her own, when her own mother dropped her off at the orphanage so many years ago. She grips the necklace soon after she remembers, her "I love yous" for Adora, only becomes haunting to her, just a ghost of their painful past. The images flash faster in her head of her ripping She-Ra apart, in most missions without knowing the truth, destroying their shared bed at the orphanage, losing to Adora in training, playing and running off together their shenanigans, and being comforted by her when Weaver scolded her for doing things children do.

Also, that promise. It's clear as day to her, it was so long ago, but it felt like an hour ago they were running away from isolation, and pain, together. Away from Weaver, and the situations she forced them both under.  
  
She remembers the promise looping in her head on repeat:  
_Catra, it's okay, it's just me. It doesn't matter what they do to us. You look out for me, I look out for you. Nothing bad can happen if we have each other._

_You promise?_

_I promise._


	4. Promise Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora barely starts remembering last night, but something will start other unwanted memories than the night before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of this is rewritten

Adora jolts awake in her bed, her muscles and body immediately aching like forced glass tempered together. She felt frail, and light-headed. She felt the need to get up, she only had foggy memories of last night, it was almost like being intoxicated minus the ecstasy. None of the memories felt real as she decided to look for her necklace and sword. They were still there, right where she left them. She looked over to the spot of her bed that Catra usually slept in, but she was no longer there. She swallowed, attempting to get up before she felt a hand push her down gently upon the bed.

Catra’s hand laid upon her own.

With a cry, she leans back onto the bed where she had been watched. Her upper arm, bandaged alongside her shoulder, which seemed to be bruised by a large hand. Adora swallowed, trying not to think of the inevitable as she exchanged glances with Catra. Before Adora could open her mouth to speak, Catra finally broke the silence before the warrior could. Her pupil-slits felt like daggers piercing her heart while she was stared down upon.

“How do you feel?” Catra asks as she stares into Adora’s crystal eyes. However, Catra didn’t radiate her usual warmth or a smile, it felt dry and cold. Perfectly condescending of her.

Adora swallows guilt down as she gazes at the sunlight coming out of the window, and the some of it resting on Catra’s face. She admires her regardless of the pain she’s in, and she tries to give a warm smile, but she only expresses worry.

“I’m okay, I think...” Adora responds quietly, feeling the tension rise.

She looks down to her phone, it was almost _2:32PM_. Her eyes widen when she checks her notifications, and she immediately regrets even picking up the device.  
  


 **Glimmer** 12:45AM

adora we made it out okay, bow is at my house for tonight.

  


**Glimmer** 12:59AM

forgot to tell george and lance that hes here. brb!  


Adora lets out a sigh of relief, even if she knew Catra eyeballed her the entire time. She tries to ignore her for a brief moment, before noticing the two notifications that caught her attention.

  
   Yesterday

 **Catra**   8:10PM

i left for work, i love you

  


**Entrapta** 11:02PM

Explain how She-Ra works! I want to run tests! Is she an andro  . . .  


Rereading both of those texts, Adora drops her phone. She doesn’t want to think about it, despite remembering that the only two people she’s close to, knows about She-Ra. The only two people who got back from Glimmer’s house that night, the same two people who saw Adora struggling to get adjusted to her sword-pen. The blonde trusts the both of them with her life, and she wasn’t planning on telling anyone else, but she could never be sure to no avail.

“I told her to ask you, because she wouldn’t stop bugging me on the way home.” Catra nearly snarled, but she seems hesitant since her injuries restricted her from intense physical movements.

“How did you-” Adora feels the guilt inside of her throat drop to the bottom of her stomach.

“-Wasn’t hard to miss. It’s good to know you’d leave me for some strangers you barely even know.” Catra retaliated.   
  
She didn’t want Adora to win this argument. She didn’t want her to play victim anymore, always getting whatever she wanted. Adora swallowed in fear, not even muttering a single word. The feline grabs her metallic mask, and tosses it like a toy in front of Adora. She knew she had to even the playing field somehow. No one is going to use her anymore.

The warrior stared directly at it and blinked, she really did miss that the past few months. She looked at Catra, and felt her heart accelerate. But, she saw right through her. She knew Catra way too well, she knew the girl as she herself was growing up. Catra would never intentionally hurt anyone unless she was provoked to do so. Then again… this was different. She moved her sore hand to press it against Catra’s. Her heterochromia eyes widened quickly, not expecting Adora’s reaction.

“Catra, it doesn’t have to be this way. I know the fights with Force Captains and She-Ra isn’t perfect but…we have the power to change that. I know you’re not a bad person, you don’t have to listen to them.” The weight left her chest as she confessed. There was good inside Catra, she knows underneath her appearance she isn’t terrible. Her expressions were unreadable.

For a few moments, she genuinely looked like she was thinking it over. The sunlight was still resting on her morena skin, resembling golden hour for the athlete. Her thoughts were disrupted when she heard Catra speak once more. Her trembling hand was clenched by Catra’s hand.

“At the orphanage, it wasn’t _that_ bad…right?” She didn’t answer to Adora’s offer, but she seemed so… disoriented. Catra asked Adora something instead. She swallowed, not even having the decency of looking at Adora in the eyes. Adora was quiet.

“Not at all. You’re honestly the best thing to come out of it.” Adora responds, she knew her leaving the orphanage would come back to haunt her, but she didn’t realize it would be brought up now, out of all times.

Catra winces and it’s either from the pain in her back, or at Adora’s response. But something felt off when she didn’t say anything witty in response. It was unlike Catra to not do so. She looked as if she held back tears. Her weird glances, and her head wobbling slightly the past few minutes, has been noticed by Adora. The silence was eerily too familiar to her. Catra is obviously intoxicated, and her breath reeked of booze.

“Are you having fun playing hero? From us being kids to growing into adults, when the hell are you gonna stop, Adora?” Her canines bit down on her own lower-lip as she looked back up at Adora, who was still resting in the bed. Catra hissed instinctively, her intimidating gaze punched a hole through the warrior’s stomach.

“ _Playing_ _hero?_ I was trying to make sure you were safe from Weaver!” Adora retaliated, and she notices Catra’s hand pull away from her own. She acted as though Adora was just some stranger to her, or a ghost haunting her home.  
  
“You _never_ did! Not if it would put you on Weaver's bad side, just admit it. You _love_ being _her_ _favorite!_ ” Catra blurts out loud.

Catra’s eyebrows furrowed as her pupils became sharp, and they were aiming right for Adora’s head. She stood up as she started to tear up, and to heave. She was bitter, and a heartbroken mess. Tears streamed down her face, and all she could do was look away from Adora.

“It was _never_ like that!” Adora out called to her.   
  
The warrior tried to stand up, but when she did, Catra decided to leave abruptly to the kitchen to create distance. They both limped slightly, but tried effortlessly to leave at their own devices. It was all too familiar to Adora’s weird childhood dreams of her leaving Catra, or to the day Adora was adopted by Angella and Micah. Catra turns back around, with her fangs baring in defense.

“You know what, Adora? I’m glad you left me. I’m doing amazing without you, Hordak _respects_ me! At least they _never_ lied to me. At least they _want_ _me_ by their side! I’m done being your pet, Adora.” Catra pants slightly in anger, but she’s not done clawing into her own pams. Her face turned into a shade of red.

“You wanted me pathetic, you _used_ me! Every superhero needs a sidekick, right?” Catra screeched.

Adora’s chest tightened at Catra’s wounding words. She felt like she’s being ripped apart. She tears up, but she tries to force her emotions down her throat. She knew if she said anything else, Catra would be pushed further to Horde, or away from her. If she left Catra again, it would be completely over, especially since she knew her secret. She internally becomes frantic, her legs felt hot, and her palms perspired, to where she wipes the sweat on her pants. She’s forced with two options, the both of them ending in unforgivable circumstances.

She pushes that thought to the back of her head, she didn’t want a death wish.

“It was never that way! We both know what the Horde has done, but if...if nothing will change your mind, then fine.” Adora stammers, wincing when she pulled the bandages wrapped from around her shoulders and the patch on her forehead.   
  
Her body is mostly healed due to being She-Ra, the process is slower as Adora. She gazes longingly out of the kitchen window, as she watches the wind, and creatures flying outside. She admires how the light reflected onto the metallic part of the sink. It was peaceful, and she didn’t want to burden Catra any longer.

“Adora, wait. Please.” Catra begged.

Catra glances to her, shocked. She is drunk, which meant she could barely process anything happening right now. She holds onto Adora’s elbow, and she kept a rather tight grip on her. It was impossible for her to articulate the right words to say to Adora. She’s far beyond broken at that point, the past four days weren’t for nothing, right? However, Adora didn’t speak, deep in her eyes laid obvious pain. She let the tears fall out from her.

“You promised-” Catra reminds her.

Adora returns back to their room, before she could let Catra finish. She was breathing erratically, and crying, but through living in the Fright Zone Orphanage, she learned through time on how to mask it. Like everyone else had been doing growing up in that facility. She grabs the duffel-bag she uses for her workouts at the University, and she fills it with the clothes from her drawer. She couldn’t forget, especially how that sword-pen ruined her life. Over some heritage destiny, if this was the problems Mara dealt with. Adora could feel her conflict ensue on with her biological mother.

Catra waited by the bedroom door, as she watches Adora throw away everything they built together. She watches idly by as someone she once shared a life with, is to leave yet again, over idiotic things Catra caused. Inevitably, she was the villain in her own story, and she could see it clearly. A drunk confused kid, a drunken asshole who cares about everything, and nothing all at once. She gazes at Adora, knowing that due to her fuck up, Adora’s leaving voluntarily. Her eyes boiled with tears, and her tigress rage waited impatiently in her chest. She’s been used by everyone her entire life, she didn’t want to be used again, and she wanted to be a force to be reckoned with.

“Fine, leave me again! Go back to your other best friends!” Catra hollers loudly.

No response. Silence was the murderer.

Everything stung to Adora, her heart raced and her blood pressure felt high. She was still weeping without the need to sob. She texted Angella and very quickly, she went towards the door. She stared longingly at the doorknob, remembering a promise. Right now, it was only a long forgotten dream. The bright sun gleamed outside, and it revealed a familiar black van that was parked near Angella. The blonde jock glanced at Catra, placing the necklace on the coffee table before she quickly exited, slamming the door shut behind her. She had slight hope on returning, but nothing could cover the wound that bled out of her wounded heart.

She left.

Catra watched her go from the window. Everything inside of her body wanted to scream. There was nothing more satisfying than the need to scratch at what she could. She tore through just some of the skin on her legs. She stumbled as she left the window. Her insides were going down in flames but in her mind, she felt absolutely nothing. Her mind was clear. She looked down at the necklace Adora had left and picked it up. She put it on. She couldn’t lose it despite losing everything else in her life. It made her feel rich, and unsatisfied with her life. Was it really worth it? Lying again?   


* * *

  
She went back to the bedroom, sitting back on the bed when distortion and the imagery of television static coursed through her mind once again. She gripped Adora’s pillow, and ripped through it while screaming and shaking. She couldn’t hear herself. She didn’t hear the fabric rip and her own scream felt flat.

Everything was static, distorted.

She picked up her phone, and called Adora. Not even two rings and someone had hung it up. Soon after, Catra noticed that someone picked up, despite not hearing anything. She couldn’t find herself to speak. Her brain was tearing itself apart. Aware of her surroundings, she dawned on the feeling of uncertainty whether or not her body was hers. Nothing felt real regardless of what items her fingers traced or what temperature she felt in the room. She couldn’t feel fabric from the sheets, the cold dry wall or anything at all. There were tears streaming down her cheeks but unannounced to her, she couldn’t feel them.   
  
She feels nothing, and believes to be nothing, so she hangs up.

Unsure of what to do next, her panic enabled her to call. The act of calling her brought somewhat immense joy, but it drowned out as she didn't feel a thing. The static got louder. She cried harder. And now, she stared down at the torn pillow. It was oddly comforting to her, ruining what she left behind.

But again, nothing.


	5. Promise Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra fails to make progress, but this was a step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alcohol ment! thank u for liking this so far!!

A month has passed since that dreadful day, since then, there was no celebration, and no anniversary. There was no love.  
  
Catra still sees her lost love into the city, whenever the athletic girl turned into She-Ra, the legendary warrior who saves everyone from the clutches of the evil Horde. There was the villain in everyone's childhood fantasies, the thought of destroying despair in turn for hope to arise in control of everything else. Seeing Adora throughout the city was the only sort of contact Catra would have with Adora, let alone be physically close to her at all. It was the same situation all the time, but she knew herself was light years away from any sort of redemption, from being scorned villain _Force Captain_ to becoming citizen Catra in children's nightmares. However, she’s on the tethering edge of staying a villain forever. _“_ Catra _”_ is now her own arch-nemesis, she's tired of herself. To her, she is some broken toy that kids would bitch about in their spare time.       
  
A restless apartment carries only a drunken Catra, and the belongings Adora didn't take with her. It's silent in the haunting home, the bedroom has a mattress with new sheets, and torn pictures of two young girls who has hopes of a brighter future shining in their eyes. A simpler time, where the young girl can peacefully cry in her friend's arms. A forgotten memory, that Catra could never walk back into. If she could, she'd give everything up, just to have that moment back in her frail arms. Catra's uncoordinated gaze moves to the ripped image, and she tears up at her younger-self. She remembers the night they had their first middle school dance, she could hear the music playing in her head, and the sounds of the loud classmates. She remembers how Adora called her over to take the picture.  
                                  

* * *

        
Lights, and a Middle School hallway, shows off quite a few young girls and boys. It was the annual Fall Dance, each student was excited to pay for their tickets. Everyone had their friends or temporary dates for the night, all but Catra. She held her plastic cup, and watched the other students fall in line to the sway of each tune by the DJ. She could hear her best friend giggling and laughing with other girls, but watching Adora smile as she blushed is just what made the lonely night spectacular for herself.  
  
“Hey, Catra! Let’s take a photo so we never forget this!” A younger Adora called out to her excitedly.  
  
“Yeah! Best friends forever!”Catra calls out, she moved by Adora, and she leaned her head on the girl's shoulder.  
  
A flash, and two terribly witty comments, was all that it took to break her down internally. The laugh from Octavia was just too obnoxious, followed by an unfortunate shove by Lonnie. The comment was about how the morena girl only wore a tuxedo, instead of an average, "girly" dress. Classic bullying, homophobia, and potential racism, was pushed onto Catra. A younger Adora shoves Lonnie for the crude humor, where the shove enabled Catra to scratch at Lonnie's face. Before the two bullies could harass the students further, Adora grabs for Catra's hand as they run off into the girl's restroom to laugh.       
                    

* * *

               
A memory gone from an argument with Adora. Reality settles in, unwelcome by Catra. She picks up the torn picture, and she reaches for the tape so she may try to fix the picture through blurry vision, and burning tears. On the wall, she places the torn image near the bed. She inhales sharply, and she then moves to check the notifications on her phone. It has been exactly one month today since Adora left, left Catra, and the home they were going to build on for a better future. She isn't too surprised about Adora, she's some liability for anyone to mess with. For the first time, she didn’t know what to do. Catra isn't wiser from her traumas, and she any bolder at all. She was the runt of the litter, the weakest link that needs to go. The feline checks through her text messages, in hope for a certain someone, would reply to her apologetic texts.  
  
No response.  
  
She checks her chat with Adora, the chat was only filled with read messages from Adora. It was usually the same texts of coming off aggressive, yet her real intention is wanting her home. There are the moments of Adora begging for Catra to leave the Horde, with a feline to ignore the inquiries, but since last week, Adora has stopped texting Catra altogether. Catra snarls when she reads the messages, but also knowing her texts returned to Adora, hasn’t gone through whatsoever. Internally, the feline is fearful and hopeless of her future without Adora in it.  
  
      _Yesterday_  
**Catra**    10:45AM  
you did this to us.  
  
  
**Catra**    12:05PM  
seriously, adora? at least read it  
  
  
      _Just Now_  
**Catra**    1:10PM  
... please.  
  
  
_Your number has been blocked._ _  
__  
_ In rapid frustration, Catra throws her cellphone across the room as it slams into a torn pillow. Catra hears a loud ringing noise, but through her intoxication, she disregards it. Tears start to build up again as she feels a heavy guilt-anchor drop to the very bottom of her stomach. Her chest tightens, and the guilt in her throat piles onto the mental torment she has endured. Her breathing labors, but she isn't surprised about the outcome of this happening. Like two strings on an old guitar that's out of tune, her heart breaks into two.  
  
“ _Fuck you._ ” Catra spat out.  
  
There is no one in the room to speak to, her comment was aimed at herself.A void filled her once driven heart, she’s now embodiment of the aftermath to a tornado, an endgame to the apocalypse. Outside of her past assigned missions, she never left the comfort of her bedroom, a  _“cave"_  as Weaver used to taunt her for. She was like a grown child who has the power of killing anyone, but she would only use it on herself. Catra wiped the forbidden tears from her eyes, she has pent up every part of her emotion like a prison. What emotions? She isn't a machine, but _god_ did everyone think of her as one. She wants to drink until it took away the pain again, at least she could have fun before throwing up into the toilet.  
  
She’s still young, but being a villain was  _good_. Catra thinks about how she got to steal what she wanted, even whiskey. Yet, it was never enough to steal back Adora from her new people. With a full bottle under her bed, the feline reaches for the bottle, and she takes three swigs before dropping it aimlessly. Her drinking habits is absolutely disgusting _._ Catra makes a disgruntled facial expression at the first few sips, to her it was man-made bile compressed into a bottle for people to drink for fun, or for intentions that are the complete opposite. It seemed to be a mixture of both for Catra, she didn’t want blood anymore, she only ever wished for a better youth with the one she loves. She hasn’t eaten too much today, or it was immediately after she nearly killed Adora. There was no more consistent meal habits for her, let alone a proper sleep schedule. Catra told Adora she loved her, before all of this nonsense started to taken place. She knew saying that was a mistake, but she would never take back her comment if she had to re-do the entire day.  
  
The heavier intoxication settles in, and she becomes dizzy, so she stops fighting it.  
  
“I… fucked up. You’re not here. So you _caaan’t_ listen.” Catra slurs.  
  
Her voice was slightly hoarse from sobbing that entire afternoon, as soon as she left the bed. If the world asked Catra, "Hey, did you cry again?"She would completely deny any of it, and scratch whoever asked, for making up shit. She is defensive, but at that moment she is burdened with torment. Times where she’s alone, and she lets herself invite her demons into a booze-fessed pity-party.  
  
"No more lies. Fess it up before you sober up and regret it, me. I hate you, Adora. But...I love you. Y’know...I can't love you. You're a hero and people make statues out of heroes, am I your enemy? Did I mean anything to you? Why do you even want me on your side? Do you want me?” Catra interrogates her paranoia through open-air.  
_  
_ Her chest is completely tightened, and the tears she held back becomes loose. Her tears fall past her cheeks, and they land in between her curly hair only to leave a bitter mess. She growls at the bitter feeling of resentment and longing. She feels gross in her own skin, it’s why she wants to rip herself apart so badly in the first place. She is a zombie to a war, but when in reality, she only wants someone to talk to again.  
  
“I don’t forgive you...I mean, I _do_. It’s hard. I hate what you did, but, I can’t ever hate _you_.” She whispers to herself.  
  
Catra traces her black-nails against the whiskey bottle, then she picks it up, and she watches the liquor move fluidly inside of the container. Her eyes followed the way the drink bounced inside of the glass, then she glares down towards the mask has been laid next to her. She places the helmet on, but not for any specified mission, she's too intoxicated to even think for herself. As the bottle sits on the edge of the bed, it immediately falls off. Her tail now flicks, her ears go down, and she already exhausts herself with complicated confessions.  
  
“As Force Captain, I do promise not to  _kill_  you. I’m not either, probably just gonna avoid you. Not because I’m weak.” Catra sighs.  
  
She snorts as she giggles, and she then turns to lay on her side. She feels sick, so she tries to balance out her thoughts over what mattered to her. Her tail curled around her sickened abdomen. Her tail wrapping around her felt like a familiar arm, it was a comforting feeling for the feline entirely.  
  
“We used to have the world in our hands. Shit happens, though. I'm still me, and you're still _you._ ” She scowls.  
  
Catra is bitter, she's refers to the fact that the jock placed time with other people than with her ex-girlfriend. Mermista, or whatever her name was, and Sparkles. The same people Catra aggressively despises since Adora laughed, and smiled with them everyday. The feline felt like a third-wheeled, or pushed out? It's hard to tell, there's so many people in Adora's life, that Catra thought she could never stand a chance to. What doesn't help her, is how restless she felt just thinking about it. Like a needle on a thread, she only had the comfort of alcohol by her. She sighs heavily, knowing she cannot change today, or tomorrow, or years ago, because she would have in a heart-beat. She stares at the picture of them, it's haunting, a different time for the both of them.  
  
Promises were never broken back then.  
  
“I promise, I’ll always be waiting…even if I’m different, I’m still the same. I'm tired...of blood, even if I wanted it. Because unlike you, Princess of Power, I’m staying with the memories we made.” Catra murmurs to herself.  
  
She realized that none of what she spoke the past hour has made any sense. It’s not as if anyone is there to listen anymore, she only spoke to pictures who were ghosts in her apartment. Her eyes start to drift to the ceiling, then they close for slumber. She clutches onto Adora's pillow for dear life, her vision becomes blurry as her head spins, in her head she thought Adora was in her arms for that moment. She doesn't bother trying to think about her being there or not, this is the best she has. Her tail curls into the pillow, and she purrs peacefully.  
  
"I love you, Adora." Catra whispers into the pillow.  
  
Her breathing slows down, and tears leave her closed eyelids as she drifts off to sleep. The mask falls to the side of the pillow, and the bedroom becomes her own sanctuary. Her cellphone buzzes from the speaker, as the screen lights up with Adora's contact on-screen. Her contact leaves the device screen, before it becomes ensued with static and a device shut down.  
  
“I love you, too...Catr-”


	6. Pity Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Glimmer hosts a ceremony, and an unwanted feline crashes with her date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is slightly nsfw and there is alcohol involvement, with slight trauma

The morning sunrise falls east, and west, of her temporal home, until she can move into a better place, at a different location. Her bare feet presses against the bare floor-board, in her second-floor bedroom patio. This place Adora has settled down this past month, is her domain to roam upon. She could escape her issues this way, to live here freely without anyone to find her. The athlete leans her elbows upon the metal railing, and she grips onto her mug of hot chocolate. With cold weather surrounding her, a small breeze combs through her ponytail and she took two sips. Adora inhales through her now reddening nose, and she then exhales the stabbing temperatures from her lungs. She's mesmerized as the view she gazes into, there were no clouds but for left-over snow, and the sunrise climbing into the horizon. Her tranquil moment gets interrupted by the sound of children playing in the snow. Giggling fills the air, and the sound of feet trampling into snow where children screams at snowballs being thrown. Adora longs for innocence such as that, she wishes for Catra to return at her side again. Adora knew deep down redemption is such a long road, with no map to guide Catra home.  
  
“Adora!” Glimmer calls to her excitedly.  
  
Glimmer yells out to the jock, and she’s full of excitement. It’s just too early in the morning for it, but this is the few little things that Adora is thankful for. She walks towards the smaller of the two, and she shuts the patio door behind her as she turns her head to face her best friend. Adora takes another sip of her drink as she raises an eyebrow in response to Glimmer.  
  
“Today’s the yearly date where my mom hosts one of the Rebellion’s Ceremonies! _Buuuut,_ since she’s working, she left me in charge this year!” Glimmer expressed excitedly as her eyes glistened with joy as she spoke, and it sparkled as she jumps in with excitement. _  
  
_“Yeeahh, the ceremony. _Riiiight_.” Adora vocalized obnoxiously.  
  
“You...have heard of a ceremony, right?” Glimmer’s energetic tone becomes replaced quickly with such a deadpan expression.  
  
“Not at all.” Adora nervously laughs.  
  
Glimmer inhales sharply through her nose, out of sheer annoyance. Adora picked up that the pink-haired girl isn't having any of this right now. It only causes Adora to shift uncomfortably, especially whenever she doesn't know too many things. It left the athlete guilty, but she could never express that guilt to anyone else than herself.  
  
“The Rebellion celebration is for accomplishments made, it IS in the name, Adora.” She adds. “Bow decided to escort Perfuma, and…I have _no one_ to host with. Will you help?” Glimmer asks her as she leans onto the bedroom door, and her head shifts to looks up at the taller of the two.  
  
“A party. Because, I know how to host one, obviously.” Adora states as she nods anyway, she could never leave her best friend behind.

Besides, it's so sudden for her to agree on something. She just needed to release such awful thoughts of the past two months has just been a stressful struggle of balancing out classwork and being a bleach haired ‘Wonder Woman’ when she has to be.  
_  
_ “I texted the group chat about it.” Glimmer announces.  
  
The athlete nearly chokes on her sizzled drink, so she places her mug upon the nightstand, and she’s sick with nervousness.  
  
“Glimmer. That doesn’t happen to be the group-chat with _Catra_ , right?” Adora pesters.  
  
Glimmer doesn’t answer, but her embarrassed facial expression tells Adora otherwise. Adora groans out of frustration, and she tosses her cellphone onto her bed. Adora jumps onto her mattress, and she grabs her phone to check the notification. She screams her frustration into the pillow, and the jock asks if she has spoken in that chat. Due to worry of her ex girlfriend showing up, Glimmer swallows through the guilt, and she places her phone onto Adora’s bed. Adora turns her head to stare at the screen, all of this seems too taunting.  
  
  
**cat** **bitch** 9:32AM  
wtf, no. its like 3 am shut up.  
  
  
**cat** **bitch** 9:36AM  
on a second thought, ill go. im someones date. ;)  
  
  
Adora read the last sentence. She groaned, and screamed into the pillow once again. Her voice was muffled.  
  
“That’s _great_.”  
  
She lifted her head from the pillow, there was tears swelling in her eyes but it’s okay, maybe she’ll feel better. It’s not like this morning hurt enough, now that her ex is planning to show up?  
  
“Perfect. Just what I needed.” Adora groaned, her sarcasm stole her voice.  
  
Glimmer lifted a hand and rubbed the jock’s shoulder. She felt bad but she knew it would only be a bad time to overly apologize to her friend.  
  
“It’ll be okay, she’s _probably_ bluffing. You know how she is.” She smiled reassuringly. If only it were true, Catra is just so unpredictable. It made Adora’s skin crawl at the thought of her ex girlfriend showing up with anyone. Neither of them identified with liking guys, it just so happens Catra doesn’t know how to qualify under “calm.”  
  
Adora gets up, and she thanks Glimmer for at least trying. She knows Glimmer tries her hardest to make sure her friends are okay, and that made Adora smile. When the shorter girl walks out and shuts the door, the jock makes way to her old closet to get dressed. She thought for a moment on being She-Ra, but she couldn’t draw attention to herself. Everyone loves She-Ra but she knew the one person she loves didn’t.  
  
She finds her dark red dress with the golden lace around the waist, and she removes her pajamas to slip inside of her outfit. The warrior doesn’t know how to do hair, so she decides it was best to put it up with her little clip. When the clip was on, she looks at herself in the mirror with a dissatisfied sigh.  
  
_“Fuck_.” Adora groans.

* * *

  
The first floor of their home became filled with strangers who were all too familiar. There was people in outfits, holding wine glasses. Most were either older people or around her age. Adora listened to the pop music playing as strangers spoke to her. Things about how She-Ra was a hero, about her adoptive mother, and nonsense she rarely placed her attention into. She kept staring at the door waiting for Catra to enter with her date. More guests, and no unrealistic grand entrance from the feline.  
  
“Excuse me for a moment, I’m going to get a drink.” Adora interrupted. They never even noticed her speaking at all. She slipped away to the wine table, and she picked up a shot. Maybe even two.  
  
She studied everyone walking by, Glimmer was talking to Bow while Perfuma left his arm to go speak to Mermista. Good for her. Nothing new, it was just strangers and friends mingling but there was no sign of Catra. Adora swallowed her shot, and her head felt weird… it wasn’t necessarily common for her to do this. She was one of those people to claim there was more important things to take in than alcohol, but it seemed that was the only thing her mind can temporarily put it’s attention into.  
  
As she stared at the door, Perfuma and Mermista went up to her. They began questioning if she were okay, and all Adora did is nod to them.  
  
“Etheria to Adora, hella?” Mermista’s tone is just the usual deadpan voice.  
  
Adora looked at her, and they both talked casually. Mermista brought up She-Ra and how Glimmer was wasted revealing her secret to her. Her eyes rolled at that comment. She noticed the blue haired girl blush at a comment on how She-Ra looked, it caused the jock to chuckle softly.  
  
On the spot, she noticed a particular feline entering the room with her mask. Her tuxedo was similar to hers of Middle School with the exception of no shoes. The feline clutched onto Scorpia’s arm, who happened to be dressed in a beautiful black dress. Catra glanced at Adora with a dirty look and a smirk, before turning her head to talk to Entrapta and her “date.” _  
__  
_ Suddenly, Adora gripped Mermista’s hip, and her laugh became so _forced._ Her voice didn’t sound soothing at all, if anything, the poor jock voice-cracked in front of people. Mermista looked at her, and she didn’t seemed thrilled. Not impressed, at all. She knew on the spot what was happening, she wasn’t going to buy it.  
  
Adora glanced at Catra quickly, who looked back at her roughly. Her eyes screamed sadness when wrapping her arm on Scorpia’s pincer, and her ears were down. She seemed more mad than anything else, her eyes showed a soft baby-blue and yellow. That’s exactly what the jock longs for.  
  
“I know what you’re doing. You got an ex situation, it’s whatever. I’ve done it to help Sea Hawk before.” Mermista stated, turning her vision to the mustache man that seemed too caught up in the food.  
  
“ _Yeah_ , but, you’re dating him?” Adora spoke in a response than a question.  
  
Mermista only nodded before rolling her eyes at watching her boyfriend murder the pastries and alcohol. She smiles a little as Glimmer and Bow try to stop him, though her expression shows more annoyance than anything else. She headed towards him to probably stop the ruckus.  
  
Her head spun slightly, she wasn’t what you would refer to as a “light weight.”  
  
Adora sighed, and her stomach felt weird. She hasn’t realize her chest has been tight the entire night, and that her palms were sweaty. She became sick, but it was nowhere near physical. She’s She-Ra, a warrior.  
  
_It is time to let go._  
  
She made her way back to the stand that carries her drinks. She picks a few cups to down what she can, an impulsive young adult she is. It’s sour, it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth than how it made her feel. Her head became dizzy even worse than before. Her vision stayed impaired, and her eyes were glossy.  
  
“Hey, Adora.” Catra greeted, so cynical.

“So, Princess, I saw _your_ _date_ walk out on you.” She snickered, leaning her hand on the table. She carries such an asshole smirk that would make you want to slap her.  
  
Adora glared at her angrily, her face became red. Her eyes squinted and she rolled it quickly.  
  
“Shouldn’t you be with _yours?_ ” Adora scoffed at her.  
  
Catra’s jaw clenched and Adora could have sworn she was growling. Her ear twitched, and her tail flicked in sudden annoyance. She did nothing physical to her. Not yet, anyway.  
  
“At least she didn’t leave _me_.” Catra retaliated, grabbing Adora’s drink from her hand and downing the rest of it herself before dropping it purposely and wiping her mouth with her coat sleeve. She smirked, hiding her sadness and rage behind a mask. _  
  
_Adora notices her own eyebrows arching. Within a second, she grabs Catra by the collar, and she drags her upstairs to where her bedroom is. As they get inside, she locks the door, and she shoves the feline suddenly. The party becomes muffled through the walls, and Catra looks up at her when she lands onto the floor.  
  
“How can you just call me saying all of these things and show up with a date?” Adora questions her, and she’s weighed down by such pent up rage.  
  
Catra looks at her weird, but she stays down instead. She snarls to bare her teeth for the warrior to see. None of this is playful anymore, only when they used to be kids.   
  
“I didn’t call you, Princess. Not everything is _about_ you.” Catra hisses. She gets back onto her feet, before Adora pushes her down again. Catra’s defensive, but Adora knew better than that.  
  
Her chest feels heavy, and she feels the sudden rush of adrenaline inside of her. She tries not to react so much than she wants to. Not in her new home, and not in her own room. Adora sighs sadly as she sits in front of her.  
  
”Why did I hear you say you hated what I did, but not me?” Adora asks as her own sadness shrieks under her skin.  
  
Catra’s eyes widen, realizing all of the mumbled bullshit she said yesterday was because after she tossed her phone against the wall, it probably called Adora unintentionally. There‘s no point in defending herself, or changing topic, she‘s cornered in a bedroom, and her lightweight body is drunk. She looks away from her instead, and a physical shade of red paints her cheeks.  
  
“Yeah, what about it? It’s whatever, it doesn’t mean I like you, _at all._ Besides you have that blue-haired chick. What about Sparkles?” Catra mutters in annoyance, followed by another tail-flick.  
  
Adora’s eyes widen at the particular comment, it seems really misinformed. Was Catra _that_ upset?   
  
“Glimmer is my best friend, and Mermista has a boyfriend.” Adora snickers, before her minor smile drops.

“Aren’t you with Scorpia?” She asks nervously.

“Me? Pffft, _no_. She’s only a friend.” Catra responds as she’s eyeing the girl who sat in front of her. Her slit-pupils widen in awe, like the time they had the explicit moment in the car. The athlete snorts once she looks into the huntress’ eyes longingly, before realizing she’s leaning too close into her. The tips of their noses touch again, it leaves the feline purring softly.  
  
“I’m so fucking...drunk.” Adora snorts as her head could barely balance at all. She hears Catra’s snarky laugh, and the feline moves to lay on Adora.  
  
“I am too, trust me. This is a thing for future Adora and Catra to worry about.” Catra states as herself purrs aggressively when her ears go down.

The both of them rest their foreheads upon one another, until their lips press together. She grunts excitedly as she tugs onto the blonde‘s bottom lip with her canine teeth. Adora pulls away slightly, her bottom lip being tugged with the kiss.  
  
Was the feeling only alcohol? _  
  
_Adora’s chest burns warm, and her hips carry sudden urges. She starts to dig her hips into the feline’s torso, and she makes sure to lock the both of them into the flooring. She accidentally hits Catra’s head as she kisses her drunkly, their teeth hit one another as Adora’s tongue ends up in Catra’s mouth. Catra’s purrs harder, and she pulls down the zipper to Adora’s red dress.  
  
_You will cause blood.  
  
_The taller girl inhaled sharply as she yanks down Catra’s coat off of her, and she unbuttons her slight maroon top. In between kisses, Adora squeezes around the morena woman’s chest, followed by noises escaping from Catra. Adora breaks away from the kiss, leaving a trail of a saliva line. She tugs onto the curly black hair, and traces her teeth against her neck, and to jaw. Adora is starving, just as much as Catra is.  
  
Catra begins to growl beastly, and she then shoves Adora under her as she straddles her hips. Her gaze follows Adora’s smile in her drunken eyes, she was home. Before happiness could settle in for her, images of Adora’s wounded face squeezes her mind. She closes her eyes tightly, and she starts to grip onto her own head, which causes Catra to tear up overwhelmingly.  
  
_It is time to let go._  
  
Through Catra’s mind, Adora’s blood reappears onto her face. In her ears, she remembers her intense screaming for help. Reconciling with her past only leaves the feline afraid, and panicked to her very core.  
  
Adora speaks up to try and get her attention as she notices the pause from the other woman.

“Catra-”  
  
The feline clutches onto her tightly, and she’s whimpering loudly. It’s the effects of war, of torment she caused that day. A day she can never forgive herself for, so she doesn’t speak. She’s too drunk to muster words, but Adora tries to hold her regardless. She keeps her in her arms, and murmurs into her ear. Adora whispers familiar reassurances she would give to Catra from the abusive orphanage. They were the survivors of child recruitment, and the product of Weaver’s mistake. Catra closes her eyes, and her ear flicks to Adora’s sweet whispers, that calms down the blood driven feline held hostage in trauma.  
  
" _Don’t_ go." Catra whimpers to her as the flashes of Adora's nearly fatal injuries begin to cease.  
  
"It's okay, I'm not." The jock wrapped her arms tighter as she rested her head on the crying girl's shoulder.  
  
"You _promise_?" Catra croaks.  
  
Adora knew they're both intoxicated, and too emotionally vulnerable. She knew she had made the mistake of drinking past her limit, or to allow Catra to drink herself. The blonde starts to tear up with her, she then presses her lips to Catra’s cheek as reassurance. Her grip gets tighter, and she never wants to repeat this again.  
  
" _I promise._ " Adora whispers to her.


	7. After Party (Catra)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak takes matters into his own hands. Catra reconciles with Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new years! theres a few trauma stuff with shadow weaver and catra

Mist clouded that night, with a certain glowing neon red eyes staring at the bedroom window of the two girls who shared their moment together. The mysterious figure resembled the one of an older gentlemen, who’s ambiguous shadow screams trouble. His back leaned onto his black van, cigarette smoke escaping the bud, and he stares upward to notice the two petite figures go into the side of the bedroom. He then glances directly at the escort next to him, Weaver.  
  
  
“Shadow Weaver, keep your priorities on those two into tomorrow. Make sure they don’t leave your sight.”  
  
  
The wicked woman saluted him. Behind her red mask and glowing jewel, there laid a wicked grin that only the darkest parts of the world could respect. What childhood nightmares would adore to no ends meet.  
  
  
Revenge. Hatred against a particular feline who had taken her golden child away.  
  
  
“As you wish, Lord Hordak.”  
  
  
In an instance, she sent her army of shadows under the apartment door. The older gentlemen glanced at her, then placed out his cigarette from his mouth where he began to exhale smoke. He rubbed the bud upon her glowing jewel, and got the cigar to go out. She scoffed at his invasive action, then gives a muffled groan. He entered the front of the van, she follows him in to the back seat, and he drives away to mask his presence.  
  


* * *

  
The clouds surrounded the daytime sky. No, not your typical of slight gray and a sprinkle of rain, they’re the color of dangerous natural weather. Storm clouds that could break at any second, but for right now they remain at bay. Not surprising whatsoever, they are only a city or two away from the ocean side. The bedroom remained silent, there is only just gentle breathing and a bed sheet to the two girls who slept peacefully from the night before. Rain began to pour against the window above the bed, placing gentle taps on the glass.  
  
  
Adora is turned on her side, facing away from the feline while she lays on her back. Her ear twitches at the raindrops, but she tries to ignore it for a well-needed rest. The rain gets louder now, and she slowly opens her eyes. Catra’s vision is blurry at first, but she shifts to her side to hopefully find her shirt. Her eyes open quickly upon seeing a blonde hair figure sleeping next to her. She moves back slightly, but tries not to make a noise. Her headache stiffens.  
  
  
_What the absolute fuck did I do last night?_ _  
__  
  
_Catra swallows, she begins to look down at her body, then she feels the sudden sore feeling on her neck. Her worries became too true, and she places the sheets back onto her body. Her mask is still on, she uses this to her advantage by trying to listen for anyone in the home. Her ear twitches again, there was only silence through the apartment complex, she then removes her helmet to face Adora. She lightly taps her shoulder. No response. She smiles, then shakes Adora’s shoulder until she woke up.  
  
  
“Psst, Adora.” Catra whispers to her.  
  
  
There was only a grumble and groan. It only annoyed the feline as much as it annoyed Adora to be awake after drinking until they were both wasted last night. Adora turns over, and as soon as Catra enters her field of vision, she starts screaming and pushing her until she falls off her own bed. Catra makes a face before laughing at the girl who fell off the bed they had both slept on. She’s a oblivious dork and it was cute to Catra.  
  
  
“I _thought_ you went home last night!” Adora hollers, she tries to back up to find her pen to release her sword.  
  
  
“Obviously _not!_ ” Catra squinted at her, then she pulls the blanket down from her body and she points at the large bruise that Adora had left on her the night before. She watched Adora’s face turn to a bright red, and she noticed her own cheeks flushing lightly. She bit down on her own tongue.  
  
  
_My breath fucking reeks._ _  
__  
  
_“Just give me my clothes so I can go home–” Before Catra could even finish barking at the blonde girl, a crack of thunder made her jump and flinch.  
  
  
When growing up in the Fright Zone, she never really had the opportunities of being comforted. Unless it was Adora, that was the only sort of coping mechanism she can hold onto forever. Storms has always terrified the young girl even before she was let into the orphanage of abandoned-kids-to-be-child-soldiers, when she traveled from some island in the middle of the ocean, it was hurricane season all of the time there. She remembered how as a young baby the rain would drench her, and how the loud thunder felt like too much. It was so long ago, but those small memories of her mother giving her a necklace that day is what she holds dearly in her memory.  
  
  
_Great, now I can look pathetic again. Just what I need._ _  
__  
  
_Through worry, she felt the blonde girl hold her shoulder. Since Catra didn’t feel so vulnerable when she were intoxicated, she decides to shove Adora away instead. Adora didn’t protest like she usually does, which honestly surprised the feline girl. She picks up her phone from the nightstand, to hopefully get some service. None.  
  
  
“ _Putang ina_ –” Catra groans, she ends up slamming her phone onto the messy sheets.  
  
  
“What? Are you okay?” Adora asks her with a vivid worried expression across her face.  
  
  
“Ugh, no. _What does it look like?_ There’s no service, Scorpia drove me here last night.” She groans, then she looks at Adora. “You can’t drive and there’s no one at this house. I’ve tried listening when you were sleeping.” Catra scratches her head in utter irritation. She didn’t want to stay with her again, let alone delve into some talk on how they both fucked each other up.  
  
  
The storm gained strength, and the rain began to fly with the wind. Literally, the storm brewed hotter every second and Catra wasn’t going to get soaked in it again. She looks out Adora’s window, and closes it rather too quickly. Her paranoia grew when she heard whispers, and she tries to ignore it. It was probably nothing, it happens to the best of her sometimes.  
  
  
“Fine fine, I know Glimmer works early. Angella and Micah are rarely ever here. I know you wouldn’t want to wear that tuxedo again, it smells like sweat and alcohol. My clothes are at the end of the bed, it’s only a blue shirt and white shorts.” Adora sighs and she tries to rub her temples, her hangover caught up to her.  
  
  
Catra hisses immediately, and she chucks Adora’s pillow at her. Adora makes a noise as the pillow hits her face, she falls backward but it seemed to be on purpose. “I’m _not_ wearing that.” She growled a little.  
  
  
“Really, and be naked if someone gets here early?” Adora gets to her feet, and she shoves the pillow back at the girl. She chuckles softly, and it made Catra flustered or irritated. The feline hisses again, and she rushed to put on the clothes offered to her. It was at least better than being naked in front of her… ex? Friend she had a spur of the moment with?  
  
  
_Walang_ _yaka_. _I’m_ _tired_.  
  
  
Adora leaves down the stairs to the kitchen, and Catra has an impulse need to follow her even if they finally spoke from a radio silence. The jock makes her way past the table, and to the fridge to grab a carton of eggs and some vegetables. She grabs the pan and she prepares some meal, or whatever. Catra was just going to be an asshole and watch from the table instead of helping, it wasn’t her house anyway. That wasn’t even her girlfriend. That was just someone helping her survive.  
  
  
_You can do this shit yourself._ _  
__  
  
_The feline groans, and she just… watches. She misses her without needing to admit it, deep down she misses what they used to do everyday together. She remembers how she helped Adora in the kitchen, she remembered Adora tried to help her prepare traditional filipino dishes for her birthday. She remembers how they both didn’t get it right. She remembers how no one showed up but she did. Catra groans in annoyance once more.  
  
  
Things that’s stolen from her. A life she can’t get to ever have again.  
  
  
_I’m_ _a_ _liability_.  
  
  
She escapes her thoughts when she sees Adora flinch and wail when she cuts her hand with a kitchen knife. Catra gets up quickly, and she gets a towel for her. _No no no._ She paces around, trying to look for her medicine cabinet. Once she finds neosporin and bandages, she makes her way to Adora who stayed at the sink. She sprays on the wound, and she wraps it. She’s determined to support someone she supposedly hates.  
  
  
The thunder rages on, and the power turns off.  
  
  
“Are you okay?” Catra asks, and she tries to ignore the fact that she broke her caring streak.  
  
  
Adora looks at her and nods. “You didn’t need to do-”  
  
  
“Don’t say that. _Don’t_.” Catra leaves a kiss on the blonde girl’s palm lightly, and she hugs her for a moment.  
  
  
Adora hugs back, and she rests her chin on top of the shorter girl’s head. Catra purrs a little, before she breaks the affection to grab the plates and to make her way to the oven to grab Adora’s and her meal. She didn’t even need to make any of it, but regardless she was thankful. She didn’t want to break the hug from Adora, but again, she’s not weak.  
  
  
Silly affection, silly Adora. Sweet, silly Adora.  
  
  
They both make way to the table, and sit across from each other. Catra hasn’t been eating well and she’s been drinking off her ass the past several… she lost count the week after Adora moved out. She looks down at the plate, she grabs her fork and knife, then she murders what she consumes. She forgot to take care of herself, karma is a bitch who happens to be the best at Catra’s worst.  
  
  
Adora just watches. Catra couldn’t tell if the jock was either intimidated or worried, she shared both expressions equally. It put Catra off only slightly, but she just consumes what she can before downing as much water she can take. She looks at Adora, and the poor girl only ate half of her plate. It wasn’t amusing to her, but she swore she could hear a small giggle escape from her. Also, cute. But cute means pathetic, right? Silence from both of them, until Adora decides to open her mouth.  
  
  
“I can’t keep lying, Catra we need to talk about She-Ra. We need to talk about last night. We need to talk about us.” Adora looked at her, and she remained concerned.  
  
  
Catra only shrugs it off. “Before you even ask, no. I didn’t tell Hordak, Princess. Your secret’s safe, and there’s no us-”  
  
  
Adora doesn’t speak, but her action made Catra go silent. Her action felt like a scream, a slap on Catra’s bruised heart. She ached as Adora held her hand with her injured one. She locked finger’s with the feline, and her gaze hasn’t unlocked from Catra whatsoever. Catra looks down at her hand, her eyebrows furrows, and she sighs.  
  
  
_Was it worth it hurting_ ** _me_** _, though?_ _  
__  
  
_Catra’s bigger fear than death itself, was commitment. She lost the commitment from the person who became her absolute world the second she stepped in that godawful building. Her chest tightened, and she tries to exhale her pain away. Her chest was forced glass, broken glass that was forced together again. She doesn’t answer her, she doesn’t feel ready to admit what she’s committed such atrocities to the both of them. However, her gaze back at Adora’s speaks volumes. It was like Adora _already_ knew.  
  
  
A familiar voice enters through the crack of her bent mind, and it tries to break her. Catra’s muscles tense, but Adora doesn’t even notice that voice:  
  
  
_She left for a reason child, you insolent fool. Did you_ ** _really_** _think you have the strength to escape me? You’re her pet, a child’s play-toy. A weak kitten who was just a pesky runt in your litter. She’s going to hurt again and the blood will leave_ ** _because of you._**  
  
  
Her breathing intensifies for a crucial moment, and she grips Adora’s hand who winces at her sharp pain from her injury. Reality breaks her, and she lets the poor athlete’s hand go. She looks at her, and then the thunder from earlier claps louder with her harsh breathing.  
  
  
“You don’t hear Weaver? She’s here and she’s _after_ _me_ , Adora.” Catra panics, she gets up from the table and she makes her way to the couch where she grabs a blanket and curls into it. She’s covering her face, and for a period of time she feels like the vulnerable child she used to be. She was now a former shell of it.  
  
  
_Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop._  
  
  
The lightning flashes through the windows of the living room and kitchen, followed by the apartment shaking slightly. She closes her eyes, and the storm comes back to her hauntingly. That fight in the city, the times where Weaver haunts her during the day and in her nightmares, and the intense fights she’s had with nearly everyone has finally broke her.  
  
  
Catra’s sobbing, and she doesn’t let go of the comfort of that blanket. She doesn’t move her face away, and her breathing intensifies with each passing moment. With each passing memory, with each abandonment by adults, with each haunting second of Adora. Her chest wasn’t glass no more, no. It was broken cement blocks after an earthquake. Her head’s pounding.  
  
  
“Catra, Catra, please. No one’s out to get you, she’s not here anymore. She doesn’t know where we are.” Adora says, as she tries to push those thoughts away when Adora spoke. Adora really is someone she looked forward to everyday coming back from school, or when she has tough time that no child should witness.  
  
  
She felt arms wrap around her, and she sees room light. She squints and hisses when tears escape her. She’s shaking uncontrollably, and it wasn’t a good idea to form words. She has no weaknesses, supposedly.  
  
  
Her head is stroked, and it’s by Adora’s hands but there’s no blood. There’s no Weaver, and there’s only grieve. She begins to rest her head into Adora’s shoulder. She doesn’t say anything. She knew this feeling, the feeling of the party. It really was a future thing for them both to worry about now. Adora’s breathing is too soothing, it was the relief to her issues.  
  
  
“Did we… rush things?” Adora whispers to her.

  
Catra shakes her head no, she doesn’t want to think about how they got together so quickly. She knows they are building now, even if her insecurities will hang her on a tightrope. She wraps her arms around the girl, and she shares the blanket that held herself. She gazes into Adora once more, and the jock responded with a gentle kiss to her cheek. The feline returns it and gives a gentle yet toothy grin.  
  
  
When the storm rages on, she’s at her calmest past and present with the girl she loves. She keeps her rested, and her body feels warmth from the blanket and the girl. Her eyes close slowly, and her problems are lifted away to her breathing. Catra drifts off to sleep, knowing that they’ll both be okay.  
  


* * *

  
Adora doesn’t wake up the sleeping girl, listening to her coo in her sleep made her smile slightly. She tries to keep her eyes open but her wits don’t allow her as her eyes try to close. In her hazy vision, she thinks she sees dark smoke in the corner of it. She gets up slowly and the feline doesn’t move, she’s in for the well-deserved rest.  
  
  
The warrior grabs her pen. She’s ready to chant her call before the smoke grabs for her ankle, it covers her mouth, and it drags her down to the ground. An unwanted laugh enters her mind, and the shadows yank her away to the front door. The door slams shut, and something slams into the back of her head. She’s disoriented, but her muffled screaming doesn’t save her. There’s a red liquid entering her vision, and she tries to look around for who had done it. Her body officially gives in, and she’s out-cold.  
  
  
Hordak.  
  
  
“Prepare the call to Force Captain in one week. We’ll test her commitment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:  
> *walang yaka = no shame


	8. Retaliation (Catra)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra wakes up and she's alone again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more childhood stuff and blood!

“You’ll **_never_ ** get away with this!”  
  
  
The blonde woman has constricted her breathing, and her use of her lungs. Each passing moment of her opening her mouth, she’s screaming in aching pain. Adora tries to move against the handcuffs, but they only get tighter against her wrists. The room was dark and the only pure vision she has had so far is three screens in front of her. Each one having Hordak in view. It made Adora sick, her blow to the head is still pounding and the constant guard tazing her if she didn’t answer only made things worse.  
  
  
“Do you think I can _surrender_ as easily, She-Ra? You have gone long enough. Let her legacy become broken once more. My highest soldier will return in normal operations as Force Captain and leave you to die.” Hordak spits. He’s a businessman but he’s far more than just human. He’s ruthless, and he doesn’t care. He signals the soldier in front of Adora, and he leaves another blow to her head. Her vision goes out, and Hordak’s glare is just the last thing she sees.  
  


* * *

  
In her nightmares, it’s usually the same ones she’s had as a kid with imaginations to escape her harsh reality at her fake care. It seemed cartoony, but it is just Weaver she runs away from. She would be wearing a silly cloak, a mask, her long hair, and she’s screaming at the top of her lungs while nearly placing the young girl in a choke-hold. Catra would end up begging her not to hurt her, and the frightened young child would die.  
  
  
Such terrifying, and scary dreams.  
  
  
The thunder cracked harder with each moment her chest even moves, with each breath she takes.  
  
  
She wakes up in a sweat, and she flinches. Her breathing is only slightly paced and she looks around for Adora’s touch. Catra looks around the room to find furniture and silence. The storm still raged on and no one has been home all day. She slowly gets up from the couch and she wraps the blanket around her small body for warmth. The silence only irritates her but it’s still better than having Weaver mess with her head. Except only, now she’s paranoid over her… girlfriend.  
  
  
“Adora!” Catra calls out loud.  
  
  
Silence.  
  
  
“Adora?” Catra asks quietly.  
  
  
No one. There was only silence.  
  
  
_You_ _promised_.  
  
  
The feline calls out for her again but is clouded with radio static. She begins to search frantically around the apartment complex, she looks in rooms and she tears up furniture even if Adora couldn’t necessarily fit in there. She’s scared, it’s storming, and she’s alone in someone else’s house. She goes back up the stairs and she enters Adora’s room. There’s no sign of her, but she grabs her phone and the data is back on. She texts her, but no response. Seconds begin to feel like hours.

  
_Don’t_ _you_ _dare_ _abandon_ _me_ _again_.  
  
  
**Catra**   5:46PM  
adora where are you.  
  
  
For ten cruciating minutes, she gets no response. In aggravation, she throws her phone against the wall but this time she breaks it on impact. She stares at it and feels sick, all of her muscles begin to tense up in anger and frustration. This is what happens when you finally open up, this is what you get for trying to amend things the best of your ability. It’s another storm but this time it’s by Catra’s own faulty emotions. Jaw clenches and she cries, but she cries _hard_. She’s angry, she’s sad, she’s confused, and worst of all, she’s _heartbroken_ again.  
  
  
_Why do you want me gone so badly? Why can’t you fucking tell me why? Why do you use me for your benefit? Why do you leave me as soon as Weaver leaves me alone?_  
  
  
Her vision becomes shaky, the entire room felt like an earthquake but it is only a thunderstorm. Catra grips her hair, and she’s tugging on it like a ragdoll. She keeps biting into her own tongue in frustration, and she can feel the poor muscle bleed into her mouth. She doesn’t stop gnawing on it, calming her itchy feeling with aggression only makes things worse. Of course, karma wasn’t the bitch. It was Catra.  
  
  
“Why do you keep _leaving_ **_me_**? What _did_ I _ever_ do to _you_?” Catra screams, and she grabs at Adora’s things and she’s ripping it apart.  
  
  
She glares at the wall, and she throws aimless punches into the cement. She's growling, and her knuckles are bruised to blood. It hurts, but she couldn't feel it at all. She couldn't feel anything but she felt everything. Catra reaches down for her mask, and she extends her black claws. Her eyes are wild, and they’re animalistic. She’s fierce, she’s angry. Her breathing quickens, and she’s never letting this go.  
  
  
She’ll _never_ forgive. She’ll _never_ forget.  
  
  
Catra’s far beyond gone, far beyond heartbroken.  
  
  
Weaver enters her thoughts:  
  
  
_And it will be by your hands._  
  
  
In her fit of rage, the feline is ripping through blurred vision and she's screaming. She can’t hear anything, not even herself. She’s torn through Adora’s clothes, her bed, and the pillows she sleeps on. She’ll never give her the satisfaction of messing with her. Abandoning her for better people, abandoning their life away. Fuck what she thinks anymore, Catra was dying than dead. She rummages around the room to find Adora’s childhood journal they both shared, and drawings they have both made. She pauses, and goes through each page slowly.  
  


* * *

  
_In their bunk, they drew themselves together, they drew a world they can rule and decide everyone to be happy, they drew their silly take on Weaver, and they drew themselves in the future._  
  
  
_Married, having pets, and being happy._  
  
  
_“Catra! Look! We’re married and we have a lot of dogs and cats.” Ten year old Adora giggled at the drawing, and she points at an older Catra who’s smiling._

  
_“Yuck! I don’t wanna get married. Ewwww!” Eight year old Catra makes a noise, then she stuck her tongue out while giggling._  
  
  
_"When we're older, silly!" Adora giggled._  
  
  
_They both kept sketching with a smile. They couldn't care anymore._  
  


* * *

  
Catra can feel her heart clench, and she’s tearing up. Her chest tightens, and she gets bitter once again. A life she cannot ever exchange for her current one, a life she knows will never work out. She glares at the drawing of happy Catra, and her eyes don’t unlock from it. Her tail flicks and her ears are down, it was painful and nostalgic. All on a fucking lie.  
  
  
All on manipulation. Everyone is just the same.  
  
  
“She’s fucking _lying_ to you. She’s gonna be with other people and _leave_ _you_. Isn’t that just _Adora?_ ” She asks with a cynical tone of denial, as if she’s talking to her younger self. Someone who’s just some kid, ignorant and stupid.  
  
  
_She’ll find better people and ignore our history._ _  
__  
  
_She moves to other pages, and it was silly notes they left each other in Middle School. She looks at the notes they left in High School. The trash talking and high key flirting. It made Catra sick and angry, it made her boil to rage. Adora loves lying, doesn’t she? Adora loves taking advantage of the weak, right?  
  
  
An eraser at it’s last layer. The smoke after an explosion.  
  
  
Catra growls, and she goes through pages faster. She’s skimming, she’s reading through every page. Her head hurts, and there’s only a flat-line mixed with radio static. She rips through all of it, all of their art, all of their notes, all of their pictures together. She’s ripping through it like Adora did to them. Like Adora did anything ever.  
  
  
_She uses anyone until she’s happy._  
  
  
“I’ll _‘protect’_ you? You left me as soon as you got the chance. You didn’t leave when Weaver hurt me, you did it for yourself! _I_ ** _hate_** _you!_ ” She’s screaming and now it’s at no one. Adora’s not even around anymore, why try?  
  
  
She’s dissociated, and she knows Catra is just too far gone. Her skin wasn’t hers anymore, she couldn’t feel each page. She wasn’t real, and she’s in some nightmare she knows she’s trapped in. Her own prison, her inner hell. She glares down at her maroon uniform that melded to her skin when she wears that mask, and she glares at her pin. There was no Catra anymore, just a villain who needed blood. Catra growls, and she rips at her arms and legs.  
  
  
Lions crave _revenge_.  
  
  
Catra wipes her tears away, and she tries to track the scent of Adora through her now torn clothes. Her breathing is still quick, and she barely even notices the blood trickling down her own arms and legs. She doesn’t care anymore, she’s now the aftershock of the mess Adora left behind. Because, it’s always Adora. She can’t ever leave Catra alone.  
  
  
_You’re gonna be dead just like us._  
  
  
The feline finds a trail, and she follows it. The scent is strong, but she notices there’s a mix of iron in the scent. She doesn’t question it, because the worst to assume is her killing her. Nothing feels real to her anymore, not even herself. She opens the door, and the rain is already soaking her.  
  
  
It stormed harder, and she is now drenched. She looks around for anyone, but there's absolutely no one to be seen. Her tail curls, and she's tracking down the scent that dragged Adora away.  
  
  
_You deserve this._  
  


* * *

 _  
_ It had been a few days since that troubling incident. The building grew colder with the weather, and she was only fed occasionally by the scrawny boy. Nightfall came, and no one else did than her prison wardens. Her wound seemed infected, and it made her disoriented. It’s been that way for nearly a week, she knows now she’ll never be rescued.  
  
  
_I’m sorry-_  
  
  
“Take your pen and transform.” Shadow Weaver demanded.  
  
  
“ **No**.” Adora spits out, and she feels Weaver in her head. Adora struggles, but feels the lightning around her.  
  
  
Shadow Weaver clicks on the pen anyway, and strikes Adora on her arm. She didn’t stab her, but placed a large cut on her arm. Adora screams, and Weaver pulls up her duct tape so she doesn’t speak. Weaver moves towards her, and yanks on her hair with a ball in her fist.  
  
  
“You’re naive. You’ll return to the Horde, soldier.” Shadow Weaver murmurs, then places the blade back on the table.  
  
  
“Your identity crisis will be relieved, or you will die by Force Captain’s hand. Once you choose, we can take over the Horde together, as I trained you to be.”  
  
  
Adora tries to scream, but it's muffled down to herself. 


	9. Reinstatement (Adora)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra reunites with Adora the worst way possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is promised with a happy ending next chapter! slight gore? not sure, but its catradora angst

“Whatever doesn’t make me stronger, _kills_ me. You left _me_ out there all by myself, I spent my _entire life_ with a **_stranger_**.”  
  
  
Catra growls as she trudged on in the winter snow. It still stormed on but she could care less, the snow only melted against her burning anger.  
  
  
She’s now in the Whispering Woods, a dead forest that disconnected cities and the Fright Zone Orphanage. It was set up as a border that divides love and wealth against those who grew up unfortunate and unprivileged. Maybe it was meant to be set up like that since their cities were discovered, but no one really knows. Gatekeeping is just terminology for the higher class to limit what was already limited for those who could barely afford a toy on sale in a market. There was always limitations but Catra’s was pushed past its line. She shivered while looking forward as her skin was pressed into the bare snow.  
  
  
Each breath was visible, she inhaled her torn shirt that marked her familiar scent. It was honestly hell for the feline, she imagined herself climbing upward from its core. Burned up, and raggedy. This time, she’s burning cold and her temper is burning high. Something red was painted in the snow which the huntress looked down at, it made her feel weird through all of her sickly rage. She scooped it up with her two fingers, and familiarizes the scent with her nose. Her eyes widen and she drops what she can into the pavement. She suspects fowl play but her anger hinders any worried emotion from her.  
  
  
_That’s Adora’s blood._  
  
  
She’s chewing on the inside of her cheek through anxiousness, and her jaw is sore. Catra moves forward, before finally meeting the end of the forest and into the entrance of the closed off building.

 

* * *

 

The room has no lighting, just the three screens that surrounded the young woman. The nearly pitch-black atmosphere made Catra carefully navigate about the perimeter, watching her step as her sharp eyes came across the familiar figure. Adora. She felt shivers of rage and betrayal travel down her spine, the sensation of agony making her fur bristle. A snarl escaped her throat as she charged towards the warrior, claws unsheathed. She was ready to unravel her frustrations, but the sight of the situation before her brought her to a halt.  
  
  
The blonde girl was disgruntled, blatantly bound at the wrists with overly-tightened handcuffs. She was grunting as she pulled at the chains in all her dismay. Her body struggled for freedom as her silhouette was surrounded by screens, monitoring and analyzing her placement. Speculating her every move as to make sure she didn't escape. Frustration and horror pierced her cerulean eyes. Catra was frozen in place as she observed Adora's position in mild shock. But she was quick to discard any sense of concern she held for her, and her fury quickly overtook her mind again. She slowly maneuvered herself towards Adora, tail laid straight back as she stalked towards her past friend like a predator upon prey.

  
“You did this to us, you did this to **me**.” Catra growled, she didn’t hesitate a moment as she inched closer to the bounded prey in front of her.  
  
  
Adora listened for her voice, and she turns her head slightly. There was a sense of relieve that coursed through every bone that laid in her body. This is someone she knows she can completely place her faith and trust into, but something felt wrong. Her breathing labored as she struggled within her limiting restraints. Forced and fake laughter filtered the air she breathed, it continued everywhere as if it were an eternity. She calls out for her name, the only one that completed her personally. Her palms sweated, and her throat became dry at that very given point.  
  
  
_Catra, please get me out of here. My sword is on the table, just please._

  
Adora struggled once again, but there was no reassuring response. Her internalized pleads mean absolutely nothing to her anymore. Catra’s muscles begin to shift to her position, and her body pounces on top of the bounded girl who only winced and ache out in unforgiving pain. The feline’s breathing begins to steady as she drags her nails around the weak girl’s visible skin. She feels sick listening to her wail, but she’s so tired of her. Adrenaline spikes through every moment she carries, and the blonde’s skin is broken in front of her. This is only the beginning of their war, and they both knew of it. She swallows whatever wallowing guilt she’s have had left.  
  
  
“I really hate that you’re breathing the same air as me right now.” Catra spits out viciously.  
  
  
Her elongated black claws latch inside of Adora, and she winces even more meanwhile struggling in her grasp. Adora’s restraints hug her frail wrists tighter, and all she does is jerk her upper body upward to hopefully loosen the huntress’ grip on her body. Her eyes are tearing up from the pain and sudden anguish that seemingly came out of nowhere to her. She has been hoping the past few days for Catra’s appearance, but none of which would leave her wincing in further pain from her specifically.  
  
  
“I can’t believe you would even do this to _me!_ I hate you!” Catra wails out.  
  
  
She’s now sobbing out, when all Adora has wanted nothing to do other than to comfort the woman above her. Her muffled sobs are censored by the duct tape against her mouth, it just makes her struggle even more. Adora’s screaming for Catra’s name, but none of her continuous pleads escape from her. She doesn’t know how to warn her of the trap they’re placed within, or how to explain her disappearance. Everything only spiraled around her and it was out of her own control now.  
  
  
“ _Shut up, shut up!_ You left me! I hate the sound of your voice!” Catra roared painfully.  
  
  
Catra notices Adora’s struggles, but she isn’t lashing back at her. There’s no She-Ra and there’s no strikes. She’s panting aggressively and it’s from her constant movement. Her constant anger that coursed through her veins and muscles, the tiresome revenge she has sought out. Her pointed eyes are dangerous to stare into, especially if they’re now staring at you with sadness and misguided hatred. The feline is paranoid but it was never Adora’s mistake at all.  
  
  
Footsteps walk into the dark room, and it leaves both of the women a pause in their one-sided battle. His footsteps is heavy against the pavement, and his glowing red eyes screams intimidation at the both of them. Adora froze as she recognized the well-suited man who visited for the first time when she was picked up by a family her adoption day. The young woman swallows down her anguish, and these intensely sickening feelings punch at her gut. It’s just a simple reminder that not everything was okay, or going to be at that moment. His voice gives the girl chills when he speaks.  
  
  
“ _Enough_ , Force Captain. Rise.” Hordak commands. His face is stoic, and it made Adora shift uncomfortably.  
  
  
Catra doesn’t speak, she has no words as of now. She lets the last of her tears fall in Adora’s clawed backside. She watches how they mix with her blood awkwardly, she watches how the colors mix from clear to a shade of light red as the rest of it pours down her back. Guilt was still stabbing her insides as she stood up from the girl beneath her. She glances at her for a brief moment, she would feel proud if it didn’t make her so sick. The injuries she left, the blood escaping her, it was all to familiar and she’s ridden with guilt when her rage soothes away.  
  
  
Adora feels weight lift off of her shoulders quite literally when she stares at Catra. She tries to wince down her pain and try to recollect her thoughts in her unwanted situation she became forced under. Her best friend is angry, and the man talking has been associated with Catra longer than Adora has thought. She swallows her pain and pride down, and her tear filled cerulean-eyes studies both of the darkened silhouettes standing in front of her.  
  
  
“Force Captain, you must prove your allegiance to the Horde, in doing so you must prepare for the end to She-Ra and resume normal operations after her disposal.” Hordak deadpanned.  
  
  
_Wait, end to She-Ra?_  
  
  
Hordak grabs for the sword handle on the near side table, and he turns it upside down for the feline to hold. Catra’s glowing eyes glare at it for a brief moment, seeming to have studied it when in reality she’s hesitant. Her inner struggle with her demon only made her conflicted internally, if this was really what she wanted. On one hand, she hates everything but in the end she still loves Adora. She blinks when she reaches her hand mindlessly and she grabs for the handle. The man leans over by the wounded girl, and he rips the tape off of her mouth. He then gets up and makes his way to the door, he glares at Adora then to Catra before he leaves to his office.  
  
  
“Do **_not_** hesitate.”  
  
  
The door slams shut, and Catra turns back to face Adora. Both of their eyes lock, but only Catra seems hesitant behind her smirk. Both of the screens turn on, and it only brightens the room slightly. It was enough to visibly see her face, and Adora’s intimidation rose higher than her former egotistical attitude as She-Ra. The feline gets on her knees, and she points just the tip of the blade upon Adora’s neck. Adora’s heart skips a beat at the sight of the blade and she looks up at Catra. She struggles once more, and it causes her wounds to bleed out again.  
  
  
“Catra please, you _don’t_ have to do this! You don’t… I know you’re not bad, we don’t have to fight anymore. We… you can join me.” Adora croaked as she breathes out when she speaks, the tension burning in her throat makes her nearly sob out.  
  
  
“No, you don’t get to call me _that!_ Not everyone can be pulled into the light, She-Ra.” Catra snaps, her chest starts heaving and her throats inflamed. She moves the tip of the blade a centimeter closer, but not to break skin.  
  
  
Catra hesitates and it’s obvious in her eyes. Her breathing is shaky and she stares at Adora in shock but she isn’t able to feel her own rage spike up within herself. Her gaze doesn’t leave the injured girl below, though her paranoia issues never really desist with her grip on the golden sword handle. She uses her free hand to caress Adora’s tear soaked cheek. She brushes her hand against the tear and she moves the extra strands of her blonde hair to the side so she may see her heartbroken with please. Adora leans into her hand as she tries her hardest to gaze into her mixed colored eyes.  
  
  
_Please_.  
  
  
“I’m just...I’m _tired_ of carrying so many lives on my shoulders. Don’t you ever get tired of doing the same thing, Catra?” Adora murmurs against the feline’s palm.  
  
  
“What are you trying to _say?_ ” Catra interrogated, her palm becomes shaky and Adora takes immediate note of that.  
  
  
“I think … I think I give up. You can finally have what you _always_ wanted.” She retorted with slight anger.  
  
  
Catra’s eyebrows furrowed and she pauses, then she pulls the blade back slightly. She frowns as her ears go down with her tail going in between her legs. Her pupil slits lay on Adora’s facial expressions, and she can feel her own heart sink miles below her feet. There was too many emotions coursing through her that she didn’t know what to feel, but she didn’t want to do anything right.  
  
  
Adora’s tense as she watches the blade drop from her view. She’s in shock and she looks at the now worried girl. Her muscles still feel tight and it seems like within any second she can collapse onto the hard floor. She doesn’t want to give up, but there’s only so much she can say to get the feline to drop what she can entirely, because Adora’s stubborn and believes there is just redemption for anyone. However, in dire situations like these she’s _scared_.  
  
  
“Just… go.” Catra grunted.  
  
  
The feline reaches for Adora’s wrist and she tugs on it to break the chains with the sword’s blade. Catra’s not even cautious when she drops the blade in front of the older girl. So much is going through both of their minds yet it is just difficult to comprehend such an unlikely situation for the both of them. Adora’s muscles become loose and her contact with Catra didn’t fade whatsoever.  
  
  
“Catra…” Adora trails off as she grabs for her hand.  
  
  
Catra doesn’t respond nor does she seem to fight her off at all. The huntress looks down at her hand and then at her, she begins to study her expressions. She sniffles a little, and only moves closer to her without making anymore body contact. After this given mess of miscommunication, she’s frightened of who and _what_ she has become over the past decade in a half. So hateful, and yet.. realistic to a world she isn’t ready for.  
  
  
_I’m_ _so_ _sorry_.  
  
  
“I love you despite everything… I’m sorry.” Adora confessed, and she gets up quickly to her feet.  
  
  
Catra remained there with eyes widened with disbelief, because despite what she has done to Adora, through aggravated revenge, still loves her. The feline’s tail flicked in confusion, and she covered her mouth to prevent any other tears to take form or to mask what she would have to say. She was absolutely in shock because she knew she wore down her relationship, let alone a friendship. She tries to ignore it as she stands on her feet to guide Adora through the exit of the building. The blonde’s body aches as she tries to make way at the door.  
  


“ _Guards!_ After those pesky traitors.” Weaver calls into the hallway, outside of the room.  
  
  
Once that call became made, the immediate response was Horde soldiers making their way into the room and flood it. The door opened and the room carried brighter lights. Soldiers in uniform, especially ones of bodies that look all-to-familiar for Adora to not ignore. Adora glares at them and Catra hisses, there was them versus the entirety of the world right now. As they dreamed when they were children, but this was a story entirely new. Adora lifts her sword regardless of the aggravating pain ripped into her back.  
  
  
“For the Honor of–”  
  
  
_You will cause blood._  
  
  
Before Adora may dare finish her chant, a dark shade of red escapes in the middle of her abdomen. Her eyes widen as she looks down at it, the liquid seeped out quickly against her white shirt. She starts to cough aggressively, and the blade that pierced within her pulled out immediately. Adora stands, but she knows she’s empty inside. Blood escapes her lips, and she blubbers the words _‘I’ll find you’_ to Catra _,_ through her blood-stained lips. She lands on her knees, and she tries to reach out to the huntress. Her breathing slows down quickly, and she falls to the ground like a doll. The warrior’s body lays frozen still as Catra watches her downfall.  
  
  
“ ** _Adora!_** ”  
  
  
That’s all Catra screams, she doesn’t know what to say, so she doesn’t speak. Her burning tears stabbed her vision and she scrapes her teeth against her tongue. Catra’s muscle tense up and her chest is squeezed for her to barely breathe. Her tail waves all over with her breathing quickening at the sight of her lover taking a blow. She doesn’t know if she’s truly still alive or not, but she doesn’t think of that now. She stares down at her for awhile, then she looks back at the soldier who commited a harmful crime. She hisses loudly and her chest burns as she snarls, the feline launches at the one who pierced her.  
  
  
Rage.  
  
  
The turmoil she has been through seemed all too unbearable. She kept scratching at the guard who harmed Adora in the worst way possible. She’s screaming, but that static in her head screamed louder than her. Her claws ripped through their helmet but she just keeps screaming and punching at him. When the other two guards try to restrain her, she easily pounces them quickly when they’re knocked down. The three guards leave in panic, they rush out the door and it’s quiet.  
  
  
Catra quickly pace her way to Adora, and she holds her head in between her hands. Her ear flicks when she doesn’t hear anything, but she lays a hard kiss against her semi-cold lips. As her chest still aches, it finally releases any left over emotions she contained within herself. Her vision blurred for a minute when she has the moment to let her tears leave her with constant whimpering. Crying was for weakness, but she’s below weak. Noises followed her crying and her eyebrows furrowed once again. She lifted the blonde’s upper body up, she takes the pen into the warrior’s pocket, and the feline tries to drag her to the way she entered the building entirely. She cries once she moves the both of them, and it became hard to speak without wanting to sob out.  
  
  
“I...I hate that you left me, just _please_ _don’t_ this time.”  
  
  
The reminder of what Shadow Weaver has told her, haunted her.  
  
  
_And it will be by your hands._


	10. Outset (Catra)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra faces her newer enemy, herself. She resolves her unsettling conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my last chapter! the ending for this au is open bc i might continue it? im not sure. if you would love to see more please let me know!

”I’m _always_ here for you, you _know_ that. I never meant to make you feel like my enemy. You were never second best from me, I left this group because of _what_ they done. I don’t like how I ended up after someone gave me a chance, I want you to feel that love I got after cutting out that mafia. You can join me! You can be by my side than on the other side of the fence.” She-Ra shouted at the top of her lungs.  
  
  
She-Ra’s monologue strikes her as she kept her wits up downtown during one of her many famous battles against Force Captain. Sunset has taken place during their excruciating battle that left the both of the girl’s sore to their feet. The air was covered in smoke, which usually Force Captain would retreat into for safety against the various burns threatening her skin and safety. Some buildings were destroyed in the aftermath of their dependent war. Adora became a weapon, but not for any particular group. Something about the blonde girl made her morena skin crawl, even by witnessing first hand that She-Ra is more than what she is capable of. A disaster.  
  
  
“Gago! You _don’t_ _know_ the endgame, She-Ra. I’m not _anyone’s_ sidekick! It’s more than just changing sides!” Catra screams at her, and her breath quickens.  
  
  
The feline leans backward and she lunges forward at She-Ra from the top of a van. She raises her hand as her fierce black claws extend from her fingertips, she then strikes the golden gauntlet that rang vibrations against her feline ears. Catra growls furiously when her body lands easily by catching herself onto the sidewalk near both of them.  
  
  
“You **_lied_** to me! You lied about _everything!_ We spent our entire LIVES together, and you throw it all away! For what? Better friends and a tiara? I’ll _never_ join you, go use someone else!” Catra hisses as she tries to hold back her tears.  
  


* * *

  
Catra held her breath as she tries to drag the unconscious girl by her arms. The events that happened moments before left her in an unsettling amount of guilt and anguish. No one prepared her for this, other than Weaver and Hordak themselves. Monsters. Down the hallway laid guards on the floor. She listened to the ominous voices in the empty room, it sounded familiar but she couldn’t risk her efforts in getting the both of them to safety. As Adora groans when she’s sluggishly dragged in the hall, Catra paces as she finds a room next to them. She opens the door, and there only laid a bed and two other doors that lead to a closet and a bathroom. She pulls Adora inside quickly when the door slaps the wounded girl’s leg then to shut.  
  
  
_Fuck fuck fuck._ _  
__  
  
_“It’s okay it’s okay, we’re safe for now.” Catra reassures the unconscious girl but her heart remains timid. Anything can happen at that point.  
  
  
Catra tries to elevate the blonde girl into the bed to best of her ability. She wasn’t what you consider strong, but her speed anywhere is just unimaginable. She lays Adora onto the bed straight, and she tries to apply pressure to the wound with the blanket. Worry burns in her chest and it could explode any second. Her vision blurred once again as she tries to let the anguish out of her heart when her tears escaped her vision. She rips a long strip of the sheet with her own nails to use it as a temporary bandage when she ties it around Adora.  
  
  
_It was by my hands, Weaver. But you caused it._ _  
__  
  
_Revenge is just another option on her bucket list, but her priorities right now needed to settle down first before she even considers Weaver’s demise. Catra huffs, and she presses harder onto the two inch gash in Adora’s abdomen. Her breathing becomes shaky as she realizes she’s not only outnumbered, but outmatched. Her phone was broken and Adora’s ended up missing from her. Catra wanted to move and scream for help like a child getting lost at a large store. Her hope seemed dim as she tries to weigh out her limited options. First-Aid. Retreat. Back-up. Break down.  
  
  
Adora winced upon the pressure and excruciating pain. Catra responds to her Adora with a gentle kiss to the blonde’s forehead which felt like forgotten sparks from her. Her heart thumped every second as time passed, she grabs Adora’s hand to keep it pressed to her wound as she gets up from her in search of the First-Aid kit through cabinets and possibly sink water for the both of them. She sweats nervously and all of the pressure made her head pound to her heart. She wants to cry, she wants to scream, but she can’t.  
  
  
“ _Found_ you!” The shrilling voice makes Catra squeal and freeze into place. Her hearts pounding faster than time, and she doesn’t turn around.  
  
  
Fear struck her down hard and she’s never been this afraid of anything since she joined the Orphanage for the first time. The bristles of hair on her neck stands with her tail and still hair. She’s trembling all over as her forehead perspired until it dropped slightly onto the pavement. The feline barely felt her muscles move, and her chest tensed at even the slight thought of getting caught. Her closed pupils turn to the left as her own claws extend from her fingers.  
  
  
“I’ve been looking for you, Catra! You haven’t been replying to my texts and I was so worried! Entrapta is at work and no one’s been replying to my ‘Super Pal Trio’ chat!” Scorpia exclaims as she frowns.  
  
  
Catra releases the unwanted tension in her body as she turns around to face Scorpia. Her paranoia really is high, enough to make her feel nauseous. She tries to swallow it down and ignore what happened moments ago. She releases her held in breath and her hair goes down with it. She wipes the sweat from her forehead and she looks up at the muscular girl who offered such a radiating smile.  
  
  
“Listen, I really don’t have a lot of time. Get your First-Aid kit out, a cup of water, and your phone. I’m gonna text Dimmer and Brow about Adora.” Catra explained quickly, she then points to the bed where Adora laid there.  
  
  
Scorpia’s eyebrows lifted upward and she made an _‘oh’_ noise with her mouth. She gazes at the girl who breathed slowly then at the obvious wound that barely stayed covered with her hand and blanket. The image only caused her to scowl at the sight of her. Instead of questioning it, her tail curled when she nodded at the distressed feline. She takes the phone from her pocket and she hands it to the huntress with ease. The muscular girl swallows as she makes her way to the cabinet next to Catra, she takes the kit out for the feline’s view before walking over aside Adora and opening it for her.  
  
  
**Scorpia <3 :)    **9:47PM  
it’s catra. dimmer. glitter, whatever your name is.  
adoras hurt. im going to take her home  
  
  
**Scorpia <3 :)   **9:48PM  
ive been shitty to you, just… please, she’s dying  
  
  
Adora shifts disoriented. She wakes up only a little, and her vision is blurred meanwhile her head is spinning. She moves her hand on Scorpia’s pincer with a half-hearted giggle. Her stomach lost a good amount of blood, which didn’t help her none. Internally she’s absolutely horrified of the situation, but her brain limited her freedom to express it. Her gaze is on the shorter hair girl who opened the disgustingly soaked bandage off of her. She winces at the pain, but her off-smile doesn’t leave her until her eyes close again.  
  
  
_Jesus_ _Christ_.  
  
  
Scorpia watches her awkwardly and she’s scared beyond the point of no return. She opens the kit, and then she lifts Adora’s shirt slightly. Blood oozes out of her gash and it makes the poor girl want to hurl, but she refrains to grab at the shirt again. She leans to look at the kit, she grabs for a needle and thread, bandages, peroxide, and ibuprofen. She looks at her claws, and she knows she can’t do this even if she learned it at Force Captain Orientation. The muscular girl faces Catra and calls to her.  
  
  
“Catra, I can’t necessarily, um…” Scorpia scoffed embarrassingly.  
  
  
“Move over.” Catra sighs shakily.   
  
  
The feline walks to the bed and she then kneels beside Scorpia, she looks at the items laid out in front of her and her tail-flicks when she remembers the night of Christmas Eve. She grabs for the needle and thread, and she gets to work trying to close the gash in her abdomen and on her back. The sewing isn’t her best work, but there is only so much she can work with right now. As she does this, she gives Adora occasional glances but she seemed to be asleep as her breathing remained calm. It relieved Catra once she finished her work on Adora, then she covers both ends with a large bandage. She’s scared.  
  
  
“Scorpia, you need to let us stay here for now, okay?” Catra says sadly, tears almost escape her eyes again. Almost, she’s not ready to break in front of anyone.  
  
  
Scorpia only nods in response as she looks at her dear friend. She knows Catra has experienced everything rough and what no one should ever go through when it comes to a loved one whether they’re friends or not. She’s sympathetic and she expresses that with a gentle hug to the feline that finally stopped fighting her affection off. It felt foreign for Scorpia for Catra to not fight hugging off, if this situation broken her that much then Scorpia would have hugged her all of the time then.  
  
  
Catra doesn’t know how to respond, or what to do. She doesn’t fight off the affection but she neither denies it. For the first time in years, she found herself hopeless in a position outside of her control. She wants to control situations for her better outcome, even if it meant retaliating in the worst of ways. After the hug, she pulls away while wiping the trembling tears that left her eyes. Her tail flicks and she looks down at Adora. Her chest heavy and tight, and she knows she caused everything throughout this mess.  
  
  
“Adora, I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t know, I’m sorry, I...” Catra blubbers.  
  
  
Tears swelled up her vision and the tension in her chest and throat only worsened. The events she has experienced could never prepare her for this moment. Catra leans upward to look at Adora clearly, and the knot in her gut gets tighter. She moves her right hand to brush the extra hair laying out of the blonde’s ponytail, then she removes the ponytail entirely for Adora to feel comfortable. Her breathing becomes all too shaky, she decides to shift slightly and to plant a gentle kiss against her pale temple.  
  
  
Scorpia only watches as she places her pincer upon Catra’s toned back as her way of expressing sympathy and comfort for the guilt-ridden feline. Her gaze then shifts to Adora and then to her injury. She gets up and picks up the blood-soaked sheet to throw away. As it gets lifted upward, the red liquid seeped into the flooring and against her foot. She finds the trash-can in the corner of her room and she drops it into there.  
  
  
“It’ll be okay, Catra. Don’t worry. The guards probably think you escaped.” Scorpia attempts to smile at the mourning girl.  
  
  
_Yeah,_ _right._  
  
  
Before Catra can mutter a word, her ear twitches at Adora’s breathing. She turns to face her once more, and she notices there were no more noise coming from the wounded blonde girl. No. Her expression of worry to heartache takes control of her and she grips onto Adora. _Please_. Adora’s mouth is gaping open with her head laying to the side. When no noise is made from her self-proclaimed lover, she moves her ear against her chest. There’s no noise, none. She feels her heart drop to her knees. It skips a beat inside of her, and she’s sobbing loudly. Time was in her hands and it froze itself.  
  
  
“Adora, Adora please.” Catra pleads shakily when tears escape from her.  
  
  
_No, it should’ve been_ ** _me!_** _Not her! Please!_ _  
__  
  
_Adora moves when Catra maneuvers her slightly, her eyes open a little but her vision remained blurred from disorientation. She looks down at the dark haired girl crying out for her against her leg. She feels worry but she feels too weak to move so much, so she jerks her leg for Catra to know she’s okay. Her confusion worries her and to the sobbing it made her so sad, but she barely could must the energy to speak so much. There was only words to muster from her own mouth to indicate she’s okay, at least consciously. Even if she were out cold, she heard what she could from the both of them.  
  
  
“Catra…” Adora muttered as her half-lidded gaze didn’t leave her.  
  
  
_Oh my god._ _  
__  
  
_Her ears perked at her speaking, and she feels herself break down harder. She moves over to hug Adora quickly, and her grip doesn’t drop whatsoever. A sense of relief and heartbreak escaped her sobs and whimpering out for her. Catra feels the warmth of the wounded girl’s skin and she plants another kiss upon Adora’s lips. The anger, the sadness, the guilt, and joy seeped through her movements. She’s in turmoil after the events broke her consequently. Catra isn’t far beyond gone.  
  
  
The blonde looks at her in surprise by the quick and steady movements. Her vision is adjusting to the light so it isn’t far of disorientation for her, nonetheless it was still difficult for her to do much. When Catra plants a kiss on her, she responds the same way without it being so dramatic. She returns the lipped kiss, and she moves her hands to stroke her thick hair. As wounded as she is, the pain never took the joy she feels when she’s with the feline for a majority of the time. She tries to lean upward despite her agonizing pain and she gives a kiss to her forehead before going back down.  
  
  
“...Ow.” Adora mumbles.  
  
  
Scorpia watches the endearing and tender moment as it leaves her with a gentle smile. She feels overwhelmed with relieve for Adora’s safety. She moves from the trash-can to the bottle of water she had on her an hour ago from when she trained in the exercising rooms. She grabs for it and goes back to Adora while Catra held the ibuprofen in her hand.  
  
  
“Drink this with the ibuprofen! It won’t do much but it’s better than nothing, we still need to get you to the infirmary or hospital.” Scorpia announced.  
  
  
“She-Ra will be fine as long as I…” Adora shifts uncomfortably and her pain leaves her off trail. “Transform.” She adds on.  
  
  
“Adora won’t though.” Catra retorted.  
  
  
“I’ll heal faster after I transform. It’s a long-story.” Adora chortled with a gentle smile.  
  
  
Catra paused and took a moment. A part of her didn’t want her to transform, she’s worried and paranoid for her health and safety. On another hand, she just wanted to leave without ever having to remember this place or the consequences she’ll face if she returns someday or stays for that time being. She gazes at Adora before sighing and looking away for a brief moment. She reaches for Adora’s pocket and she pulls out her pen for her.  
  
  
“Here.” Catra muttered in frustration.  
  
  
Adora looks down at the pen then back at Catra, she takes the pen into her hand and she grips it as hard as she could. She looks at Catra straight away, then she leans into her for a kiss. Once the kiss is broken, she gives a small smile as a reminder that she isn’t mad or angry at her for the miscommunication neither of them were aware of.  
  
  
“I forgive you. I love you too, by the way.” Adora admits as she combs her dark hair with her fingers.  
  
  
Catra stares at her dumbfounded. She realizes Adora could still hear her conversations even when being placed in an unconscious situation. She didn’t mind it all, this is someone she’s longed for admittedly. Adora’s pride sent her skin crawling, but she ignored that for her. She loves her more than anything, even if her own pride can blind side her with the benefit of a doubt. She looks at her with a small smile, but nothing else regarding that.  
  
  
Adora looked back at the pen as she studied it. She remembers the direction and place she held it in. She remembered Weaver clicked on it, she remembered the moment before she got stabbed. A lot of it seemed peculiar to her, especially after the incident that nearly left her for dead. She looked back at Catra who looked more worried than ever, then at Scorpia who expressed concern for her well-being too. She clicked the device, and the noise it made left her in awe as she looked at her own reflection through it.  
  
  
“For the honor of Greyskull!” Adora chanted through her adrenaline and pain.  
  
  
Through a flash, her transformation left her as a golden warrior who was eight feet-tall and she could stand on her feet. Her hair shined as a bright blonde, and her crown formed with her white-polished uniform. She looked down at the both of them as she left the bed. The light went away and her wounds did too, however her mental scar would remain. She looked at Catra, and grabbed her hand into her larger one. The feline looked at her hand then back up at her. She was conflicted about She-Ra but she trusted Adora with all of her might. Catra looked up at her, and she got on her toes to reach for a pathetic attempt at a kiss.  
  
  
She-Ra smiled, then she leaned downward to press her lips against Catra’s feverish ones. She broke it quickly as she heard an excited squeal from Scorpia, who they both forgot shared the same room as them. Catra hid her face while Adora smiled at the honest gesture from the muscular girl. Scorpia smiled back, and her scorpion tail curled as she did so.  
  
  
“Good luck!” Scorpia says excitedly.  
  
  
“Yeah, we’ll need it.” Catra responds.  
  
  
The feline is still too unsure of everything happening right now, she wasn’t sure if she’ll go with Adora but after everything that has happened to her the past three months, it was considerable. She choked down her frustrated feelings to grip Adora’s large hand. She looked at her through enamoured awe while her tail flicked then curled at the sight of her. It was scary, all of this, but maybe it’ll be worth it now.  
  
  
She-Ra makes her way to the door, only to wince slightly when she gets down from the bed. There was no evidential pain or physical wounding, but there laid soreness on the various spots Adora dealt with in the Horde’s chamber. Looking at her still being sore only made the feline wince with guilt and frustration. When Adora opened the door slightly, her breathing got quiet to adjust to anyone with sensitive hearing, she pokes her eye out and there was no one suspiciously to be seen.  
  
  
“ _Adora?_ ” A soft but high familiar voice echoes through the hallway.  
  
  
The blonde warrior pokes her head out to find a lost Glimmer teleporting with Bow near their door. She opens the bedroom door immediately and when they spot her, they rush to her through worry. Bow looks excited and so does Glimmer until she spots Catra next to her. Bow didn’t mind as much since he’s more welcoming than anyone in existence. Her skeptical expressions already spoke volumes to Catra and she growls under her breath.  
  
  
“Adora!” Bow squeals excitedly.  
  
  
“What is _Catra_ doing with you?” Glimmer groans.  
  
  
“Well, _Dimmer_ , did I ask for you to come?” Catra says in aggravation.  
  
  
“It’s _Glimmer!_ ” Glimmer responds as she clenches her fists.  
  
  
“Guys, let’s just focus. Glimmer, can’t you just teleport us out of here?” Adora interrupts in a rush.  
  
  
“I … can, but it’ll use up all of my power.” Glimmer says through remorse, not wanting to share that in front of Catra, of all people.  
  
  
“It’s the best we got. Please.” Adora panics when footsteps are heard making way into the hall they’re inside of.  
  
  
Adora grips the both of them while Glimmer held onto her and Bow who seemed particularly worried. With another bright flash, they exited their way from the isolated building and into the cold night air. They’re outside in the forest, but Glimmer trembles sheepishly into the snow weakly. They’re all shivering as some of them could even see their breath in the cold air. The temperature was barely higher than three degrees Fahrenheit. Adora looks at the three of them, then at the now held Glimmer carried by Bow.  
  
  
“It’s okay Adora, we didn’t have a lot of options. We _need_ _to_ _go_ , Angella drove us here in case things go wrong. I’ll meet you back at the car.” Bow says hurriedly when he makes his way through trees to follow the path that Catra once stepped through to hunt for Adora.  
  
  
The two girls left there watch him until his shadowed silhouette gets further from their view. It was late into the night, where the weather stabbed at She-Ra’s sore spots. She shivered slightly but tries her best to not acknowledge it and to pace her attention onto Catra. She knows she can’t convince her to go with her as She-Ra, but if she tried as Adora it would be worse and a different story neither of them wanted to think about.  
  
  
“Catra, if you stay here they’ll imprison you. Maybe even worse, you saved me today.” Adora places a hand on Catra’s arm.  
  
  
_Through the troubles they both went through, is it really worth it? To join everything you fought against? Everything that drowned you through alcohol and left you for dead in a lonely apartment?_ _  
__  
  
__No, but I want to go home._ _  
__  
  
_Catra looks up at her and her tail flicks at the statement. It was true, and inevitable to ignore. She felt a need to take responsibility for the ultimate damage she’s caused, the consequence of her power. It welcomed her and it can reject her a easily with closed arms. She thought for a moment as she shivered at the awfully cold weather.  
  
  
“I’m still not joining your stupid rebellion, but I just want to go home.” Catra admits to her defeat.  
  
  
Adora nods understandingly to the huntress’ surprise. She held Catra for a moment, and she tries to fight the urge to let go since her injuries tried to heal while they worsened simultaneously. The blonde warrior presses a kiss against Catra’s cheek, which became interrupted as the feline moved to her lips instead. The fire ignited fiercely because she held her own match and paper for Adora.  
  
  
_I missed you._  
  
  
“Let’s go home, Catra.”  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“ ** _Adora_**.” Doctor Hope repeated herself.  
  
  
The room was pitch silent, the time was 2:30PM in Doctor Hope’s therapy sessions. Silence remained at bay but both of their attention didn’t. It was sunny outside of the window, and the snow melted with the sunlight. Adora looked out at it then she faced back forward to the woman who still looked similar to her guide. She never questioned it, after through so many events it was difficult.  
  
_  
So this is the shit Adora does once a week?_ _  
__  
  
_Catra rolls her eyes when Adora turns around to face her surprised. The blush on Adora’s cheek made her smile. The feline pulls her feet off of the Doctor’s desk, and she gets up to walk around the room impatiently for this to end, which is hopefully soon. It was always repetitive at her counseling sessions, it is usually Adora zoning out to the night or days before each inevitable session she shares with her guide. For the feline, she knew she had to go with her since that dreadful day.  
  
  
_I swear to god this doesn’t do anything for me. It’s so boring._ _  
__  
  
_The feline shifts her cat-beanie as the Doctor speaks. She barely even listens anymore since it’s the same thing every time. Catra looks at the red varsity jacket Adora had given her to wear and she smiles at it gently before inhaling its scent.  
  
  
“Whaaaat are you _doing?_ ” Adora chortled with a snort.  
  
_  
Shit_.  
  
  
“ _Nothing!_ It smelled... bad.” Catra said defensively, though her blush says something else.  
  
  
The session ended a while ago without Catra noticing, and she grabs Adora’s hand to intertwine their fingers when they left the eerily silent office. When leaving through the doors and down the stairs, there was so many questions Catra pondered upon involving their home, classes, and the typical things anti-hero/ex-villains do. It remained quiet as they listened to the people walking by or the cars in traffic. When they made way to the parking lot, Catra grabbed the keys from the jacket pocket.  
  
  
“Catra, have you considered where you are now? Like, are you done with being _Force_ _Captain?_ ” Adora asks suddenly.  
  
  
The huntress took a moment to process what she had said, but none of it really came to her. She still wanted to keep the mask and that role, but she isn’t entirely what you call heroic. She refrained from heroism and imprisoning criminals as it inevitably leads to nowhere for her. She unlocks her car for the both of them to get into. She opens the door and settles in her seat meanwhile Adora did too, but with her usual worried expressions.  
  
  
“No. Sorry, Princess. Heroes are losers, prison doesn’t get things done. Criminals escape all the time, it’s better to just kill them off. I didn’t join your little rebellion and I left the Horde. I see good and bad on both sides, I like doing my own thing anyway.” Catra admitted while starting up the engine.  
  
  
Adora looked surprised. “That’s _bad._ Regardless of who they are, prison is meant for redemption-”  
  
  
Catra snorts. “Blah blah, we talk about this so much. Scorpia and Entrapta agreed with me, then that’s it. I’ll help you sometimes. I like what we have going on, Adora.” The feline sighs. “Let’s give this talk a break for once, I wanna talk about us.”  
  
  
“What about us?” Adora asks as her eyes widen.  
  
  
“Back to your question months ago, I … _do_ want to go out with you.” Catra says nervously, and she barely ever gets nervous.  
  
  
“R-Really? I…” Adora trailed off. “Let’s go to the movies, then! It’s on me. My doctor said I recovered miraculously and I’m able to eat salty food now.”  
  
  
Catra didn’t know how to respond but only to give a gentle snort and a laugh. Her cheeks flushed red slightly and she held the blonde’s hand again with their fingers locking into place. Adora gave a surprised and flustered laugh, where Catra smiled in response to her. She leaned over, and pressed her lips against Adora’s gentle ones. After she had returned the kiss, Catra leaned her head against the jock’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I love you.”  
  
  
Feelings was a bigger war.

  
Love _is_ blood.  
  
  
Outset. A new beginning.  
  
  
“I love you too, Catra.”

**Author's Note:**

> im open to criticism! leave a kudos if u liked it bye
> 
> *putanginamo means 'fuck you', i shouldve specified!


End file.
